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Category: Breaking

Lululemon’s wimpy founder vows not to ruin it for a bit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lululemon’s wimpy founder vows not to ruin it for a bit

Big ElephantMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Wow, what a total disaster, folks, believe me. As of 2026, our great nation, under the incredible leadership of President…

No Man’s Sky: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Anxiety Already, Here Comes A Swarm To Ruin Your Space Vacation
Breaking, Games News

No Man’s Sky: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Anxiety Already, Here Comes A Swarm To Ruin Your Space Vacation

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

No Man’s Sky is back with another update, because you know what they say: “you can never have too many…

Liberal America starving thanks to Biden’s failed economy policies somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal America starving thanks to Biden’s failed economy policies somehow

Big ElephantMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…

Oh Joy X-Men 97 is Back Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Mutant Drama in Your Life
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy X-Men 97 is Back Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Mutant Drama in Your Life

FinnMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious nostalgia? 🎉 I mean, who doesn’t love the ’90s? 🤣 It’s…

BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

So, you want to know about ANTHRAX’s new single, “It’s For The Kids”? 🤔 Well, let me tell you, it’s…

The Witcher 3 Is Getting One Last Surprise Expansion Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Hours of Your Life Playing It Already and Geralt Is Coming Back to Ruin Your Social Life Again
Breaking, Games News

The Witcher 3 Is Getting One Last Surprise Expansion Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Hours of Your Life Playing It Already and Geralt Is Coming Back to Ruin Your Social Life Again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Breaking News: CD PROJEKT RED Finally Announces The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Songs of the Past, Because You Clearly…

Backrooms Review: Because Who Needs Original Ideas When You Can Just Copy Paste Some Spooky Stuff and Call it a Day
The Backrooms: Because Who Doesn't Love a Good Nightmare? 🌃👻
Breaking, Movie News

Backrooms Review: Because Who Needs Original Ideas When You Can Just Copy Paste Some Spooky Stuff and Call it a Day

FinnMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Are you tired of sleeping peacefully at night? Do you want to experience the thrill of being trapped in a…

Media Molecule’s Next Game Will Probably Be a Reboot of Knack with a Battle Royale Mode and a Subscription Service
Breaking, Games News

Media Molecule’s Next Game Will Probably Be a Reboot of Knack with a Battle Royale Mode and a Subscription Service

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

Sony’s Media Molecule is reportedly working on a new game with “open-world elements” and we’re all just over here like…

Logitech Finally Creates Products That Won’t Give You Carpal Tunnel After 5 Minutes Of Use Maybe
Breaking, Games News

Logitech Finally Creates Products That Won’t Give You Carpal Tunnel After 5 Minutes Of Use Maybe

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

Breaking News: Logitech Releases New Lineup of Super Comfortable Mice and Keyboards, Because Your Wrists Were Getting Too Comfortable 🤣.…

MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else
Breaking, Music News

MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, LAMB OF GOD guitarist Mark Morton revealed that the band’s latest album, “Into Oblivion”,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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