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Category: Breaking

Trump Promises AI Magic With New Bureaucratic Position
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Promises AI Magic With New Bureaucratic Position

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump announced that he plans to create an “AI…

TIFF 2026 Review: Fjord – Because Who Needs Explosions When You Have Renate Reinsve and Sebastian Stan Staring Deeply Into Each Other’s Eyes for 2 Hours
Breaking, Movie News

TIFF 2026 Review: Fjord – Because Who Needs Explosions When You Have Renate Reinsve and Sebastian Stan Staring Deeply Into Each Other’s Eyes for 2 Hours

FinnSeptember 19, 2026September 19, 2026

The most epic and dramatic tale of a fjord, because who doesn’t love a good story about a body of…

Because What Movies Really Need Is More Ego Stroking Celebrity Cameos Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Movies Really Need Is More Ego Stroking Celebrity Cameos Apparently

FinnSeptember 19, 2026September 19, 2026

When a TV show reaches a certain level of cultural consciousness, it’s like a switch flips and suddenly everyone who’s…

Metal Legends Too Old To Tour Without Naps
Breaking, Music News

Metal Legends Too Old To Tour Without Naps

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2026September 19, 2026

Oh no, the sky is falling! 🌪️ FORBIDDEN’s bassist Matt Camacho and drummer Chris Kontos are sitting out their upcoming…

Parks in Chaos Because Humans Can’t Share Nice Things
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Parks in Chaos Because Humans Can’t Share Nice Things

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The story of Sam Peterson, a former park ranger who lost…

Trump’s Grip On Republicans Loosens Slightly Ahead Of Midterms
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Grip On Republicans Loosens Slightly Ahead Of Midterms

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like some Republicans are trying to distance themselves from…

Rival Sons taking entire year to make album youll forget in 2028
Breaking, Music News

Rival Sons taking entire year to make album youll forget in 2028

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2026September 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some actual music news that doesn’t involve a reunion or a farewell tour?…

Waylon Reavis Finally Finds New Way To Repurpose Mushroomhead Riffs With AKC’s Victim 3
Breaking, Music News

Waylon Reavis Finally Finds New Way To Repurpose Mushroomhead Riffs With AKC’s Victim 3

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2026September 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some angsty alt-metal? 🤘 A KILLER’S CONFESSION, the band led by former MUSHROOMHEAD…

Houthis Just Doing Their Thing While US Sits This One Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Houthis Just Doing Their Thing While US Sits This One Out

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the Iran-backed Houthis are making some dramatic advances…

Vance somehow campaigns in Iowa without really trying apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance somehow campaigns in Iowa without really trying apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Vice President JD Vance is out on the trail in Iowa,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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