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Category: Breaking

Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag Resynced Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy It Enough Times Already Announcement Thingy With a Launch Date That You’ll Probably Forget
Breaking, Games News

Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag Resynced Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy It Enough Times Already Announcement Thingy With a Launch Date That You’ll Probably Forget

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some pirate-themed fun 🏴‍☠️? Because Ubisoft just announced Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag Resynced,…

Get Ready for the Most Epic Battle Between He-Man and His Ego in the New Trailer!
Breaking, Movie News

Get Ready for the Most Epic Battle Between He-Man and His Ego in the New Trailer!

FinnApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

The most epic, life-changing, and awe-inspiring news has just been announced: a new Masters of the Universe movie is coming,…

DARKEST HOUR Still Trying To Make It Big After All These Years To Begin Recording 11th Studio Album With Producer MARK LEWIS In May Because 10 Wasnt Enough
Breaking News: DARKEST HOUR to Release New Album, World Still Spinning 🌎🎸
Breaking, Music News

DARKEST HOUR Still Trying To Make It Big After All These Years To Begin Recording 11th Studio Album With Producer MARK LEWIS In May Because 10 Wasnt Enough

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Washington D.C. metallers DARKEST HOUR have announced that they will be entering the studio…

HEATHEN Unleashes a Mind Blowing Earth Shattering Life Changing Cover of Some Obscure Song from the 90s Called Twist Of Faith That You Probably Never Heard Of Anyway
Breaking, Music News

HEATHEN Unleashes a Mind Blowing Earth Shattering Life Changing Cover of Some Obscure Song from the 90s Called Twist Of Faith That You Probably Never Heard Of Anyway

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

San Francisco Bay Area thrash metal veterans HEATHEN have released another deep-dive cover of their members’ musical history to celebrate…

Two Point Museum Unveils The Most Totally Not Boring Expansion Pack Ever Made The Arty-Facts DLC Because Who Doesn’t Love Looking At Old Paintings And Dusty Artifacts All Day
Breaking, Games News

Two Point Museum Unveils The Most Totally Not Boring Expansion Pack Ever Made The Arty-Facts DLC Because Who Doesn’t Love Looking At Old Paintings And Dusty Artifacts All Day

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

Get ready for the most epic announcement in the history of announcements! 🎉 Two Point Studios and SEGA are thrilled…

Crimson Desert’s Latest Patch Somehow Manages To Not Completely Ruin The Game This Time And Fans Are Totally Not Just Being Sarcastic When They Say It’s The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread
Breaking, Games News

Crimson Desert’s Latest Patch Somehow Manages To Not Completely Ruin The Game This Time And Fans Are Totally Not Just Being Sarcastic When They Say It’s The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

Crimson Desert just got a whole lot better, and we’re not just talking about the devs finally fixing the plethora…

Wow, America wins again, Iran is irrelevant, stocks soar anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wow, America wins again, Iran is irrelevant, stocks soar anyway

Big ElephantApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

Oh, great, just what I needed to start my day – another fake news article about how our great President…

Who cares about Spotify when America is great again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Who cares about Spotify when America is great again

Big ElephantApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tell us that climate change is a real thing and that…

Fake news protecting Deep State pedophiles again obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news protecting Deep State pedophiles again obviously

Big ElephantApril 22, 2026April 22, 2026

Oh boy, are you folks ready for some laughable news? I’ve got a real treat for you. So, it turns…

Who cares about World Cup, fake news, not America
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Who cares about World Cup, fake news, not America

Big ElephantApril 22, 2026April 22, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, I get to write about the fake news media’s latest attempt to tear down our great…

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Latest posts

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  • Because One Party Wasnt Enough Lets Keep it Going with the PHIRST PHAM COOKOUT OFFICIAL AFTERPARTY
  • Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do Than Attend the PHirst Pham Cookout Official Afterparty

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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