HAKEN Fires Guitarist and Bassist for Not Being Able to Play While Juggling
🚨 BREAKING: HAKEN LOSES TWO MEMBERS, GAINS TWO MORE EXCUSES TO REWRITE THEIR SETLIST 🚨 😱🎸 In a move that…
Category: Breaking
EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)
🚨 BREAKING: EXTREME ANNOUNCES SEVENTH ALBUM AFTER ONLY 3 YEARS OF SILENCE (A RECORD FOR THEM) 🚨 In a shocking…
Pentagon Slashes Mark Kelly’s Pension Because He Dared to Speak Truth to Power (Or Just Made a Video)
Trump’s Pentagon Declares War on Retired Navy Captain for Daring to Tell Troops to Obey the Law In a stunning…
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Reunite to Prove They Still Know How to Pretend To Be Tough Guys
🚨 BREAKING: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon Have Finally Reunited to Solve the World’s Most Pressing Mystery — Where Did…
Greenland 2: Migration – The Final Trailer (Because Apparently the First One Was Just a Warm-Up for the Ice Age)
Get ready to witness the cinematic masterpiece of the decade: GREENLAND 2: MIGRATION, where survival isn’t just a theme—it’s an…
The Making of Stranger Things 5 Doc Trailer Shows All The Writing Stress
Netflix just released the first trailer for the Stranger Things Season 5 BTS documentary, releasing on January 12th. Get ready…
Report: The Witcher 3 Might Get A New DLC In May 2026—Because CD Projekt Really Missed Us Paying For More Than 10 Years
🚨 BREAKING: The Witcher 3 is Rising from the Grave Like a Reanimated Kikimora in May 2026 🧟♂️⚔️📅 Yes, you…
Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…
Sen. Cotton Explains Trump’s Venezuela ‘Run’ Comment Like He’s Translating for a Toddler Who Wants a Juice Box
Tom Cotton Warns Venezuela: It’s Either Freedom Fries or Socialism Fries In a stunning display of American diplomacy, Senator Tom…
Trump Wants to Turn Venezuela Into a Giant Gas Station for America’s Oil Thirst — Good Luck With That
Trump to the Rescue: America’s Oil Titans to Save Venezuela from Its Own Socialist Disaster! In a move that will…