Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Grand Theft Auto VI Trailer: Florida Simulator 2077 looks like my retirement plan, except with more explosions and less shuffleboard ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿ’ฅ
Breaking

Grand Theft Auto VI Trailer: Florida Simulator 2077 looks like my retirement plan, except with more explosions and less shuffleboard ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿ’ฅ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

OMG! Rockstar DELAYS GTA VI AGAIN! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Is this the end of gaming as we know it?! Okay, okay, calm…

Beyoncรฉ, bless her heart, had to wrangle her “Cowboy Carter” tour a bit after someone sent a strongly worded yee-haw ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ“œ demanding she chill
Breaking

Beyoncรฉ, bless her heart, had to wrangle her “Cowboy Carter” tour a bit after someone sent a strongly worded yee-haw ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ“œ demanding she chill

Chuck B. BallsyMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

Hold on to your Stetsons, Beyhive! Queen Bey, our supreme ruler of all things sparkly and over-the-top, apparently got a…

IN THIS MOMENT Announces Summer 2025 U.S. Tour: Prepare for Peak Cringe, Featuring a Symphony of Questionable Life Choices ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ’…
Breaking

IN THIS MOMENT Announces Summer 2025 U.S. Tour: Prepare for Peak Cringe, Featuring a Symphony of Questionable Life Choices ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ’…

Chord F. DiscordMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

IN THIS MOMENT, the band that makes you question if you accidentally wandered into a Hot Topic clearance sale, has…

Witness the spectacle of a man who hasn’t seen relevance since disco, Gene Simmons, and his “band” gracing Red Bank, NJ with their presence in the balmy days of 2025 ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ’ธ.
Breaking

Witness the spectacle of a man who hasn’t seen relevance since disco, Gene Simmons, and his “band” gracing Red Bank, NJ with their presence in the balmy days of 2025 ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ’ธ.

Chord F. DiscordMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

So, Gene Simmons, bless his black, leathery heart (probably from all the stage makeup), decided to grace Red Bank, New…

Hordes of Hunger Preview: Get ready to drool over graphics while being devoured by digital zombies, because apparently, that’s peak entertainment now ๐Ÿคค๐ŸงŸโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŽฎ
Breaking

Hordes of Hunger Preview: Get ready to drool over graphics while being devoured by digital zombies, because apparently, that’s peak entertainment now ๐Ÿคค๐ŸงŸโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŽฎ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the steaming pile of “inspiration” that is *Hordes of Hunger*. Yes,…

Is Halsey FINALLY Trying to Sound Edgy by Begging Amy Lee for a Feature? ๐Ÿ™„๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽธ
Breaking

Is Halsey FINALLY Trying to Sound Edgy by Begging Amy Lee for a Feature? ๐Ÿ™„๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽธ

Chuck B. BallsyMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

OMG, is Halsey, queen of strategically placed glitter and vaguely angsty lyrics, about to collab with Amy Lee, the patron…

Gaming Industry Biz: How to squeeze every last digital penny out of your players before they rage quit ๐Ÿค‘
Breaking

Gaming Industry Biz: How to squeeze every last digital penny out of your players before they rage quit ๐Ÿค‘

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2025May 5, 2025

So, the gaming industry, huh? You thought you were just playing games for fun? WRONG! ๐Ÿคฃ It’s a multi-billion dollar…

Oh, so the Pokรฉmon TCG is blessing us peasants with slightly shinier cardboard for the Black and White anniversary? ๐Ÿ™„โœจ๐Ÿ’ธ
Breaking

Oh, so the Pokรฉmon TCG is blessing us peasants with slightly shinier cardboard for the Black and White anniversary? ๐Ÿ™„โœจ๐Ÿ’ธ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2025May 5, 2025

OMG, you guys, The Pokรฉmon Company is STILL milking the nostalgia cow! ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿ„ Like, seriously, are they EVER going to…

OMG! ๐Ÿ™„ Did Gran Turismo spontaneously combust ๐Ÿ”ฅ or did y’all just REALLY dig up Grandpa Oblivion ๐Ÿ‘ด from the bargain bin? ๐Ÿคฃ
Breaking

OMG! ๐Ÿ™„ Did Gran Turismo spontaneously combust ๐Ÿ”ฅ or did y’all just REALLY dig up Grandpa Oblivion ๐Ÿ‘ด from the bargain bin? ๐Ÿคฃ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2025May 5, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ The PlayStation Store charts for April 2025 are HERE! ๐Ÿ™„ Prepare to be absolutely SHOOK by the groundbreaking,…

Kim Thayil Thinks Soundgarden’s Ghostly Chris Cornell Tracks Might Finally Escape the Vault and Haunt Your Speakers ๐Ÿ‘ป๐ŸŽ
Breaking

Kim Thayil Thinks Soundgarden’s Ghostly Chris Cornell Tracks Might Finally Escape the Vault and Haunt Your Speakers ๐Ÿ‘ป๐ŸŽ

Chord F. DiscordMay 5, 2025May 5, 2025

OMG, Kim Thayil Thinks He’s Gonna Finish That Soundgarden Album? ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ Like, Dude, Chris Has Been Dead Since 2017! ๐Ÿ’€…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 525 526 527 … 537 Next

Latest posts

  • San Francisco Homes Now Cost A Cool Million Extra Thanks To AI
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump repeats stance on Iran nuclear weapons
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trumps signature law boosts tax refunds by 17 percent
  • Election Deniers Now Running Things Hopefully Not Into Ground
  • Road Tire Leads to Fatal Shooting Now Mans Trial Begins

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Todayโ€™s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright ยฉ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.