Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)
Breaking, Games News

Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Okay, so I’ve played Anno 117: Pax Romana again, and guess what? I’m still trash at it. I thought I…

DREAM THEATER Pukes Up ‘Barstool Warrior’ Performance Video From Upcoming ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray (Because Why Not)
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Pukes Up ‘Barstool Warrior’ Performance Video From Upcoming ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray (Because Why Not)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🙄 OMG, get ready to clutch your pearls, because those Grammy-hoarding, allegedly “progressive” (debatable, tbh) music titans, DREAM THEATER, are…

Konami Cancels Silent Hill f OST, World Sobbing, Refunds Offered Like Band-Aids on a Bullet Wound
Breaking, Games News

Konami Cancels Silent Hill f OST, World Sobbing, Refunds Offered Like Band-Aids on a Bullet Wound

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Oh, the misery! 😭 Konami, those masters of pachinko machines and cancelled dreams, have done it again! They’ve officially binned…

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🎸OMG! John Norum, the dude who shreds in EUROPE (you know, that band your mom likes), has signed with Frontiers…

Bandai Namco Begs Gamers for Digimon Story Time Stranger Opinions: Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Games News

Bandai Namco Begs Gamers for Digimon Story Time Stranger Opinions: Prepare for Disappointment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Alright gamers, gather ’round! Bandai Namco, those beautiful geniuses behind the smash hit *Digimon Story Time Stranger* (you HAVE bought…

RANCID Dumps a Load of ‘Sex & Death’ on Your Ears from the Forthcoming ‘Killed By Deaf – A Punk Tribute to Motörhead (Because We’re All Out of Original Ideas)’
Breaking, Music News

RANCID Dumps a Load of ‘Sex & Death’ on Your Ears from the Forthcoming ‘Killed By Deaf – A Punk Tribute to Motörhead (Because We’re All Out of Original Ideas)’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because the official lyrics for RANCID’s absolutely groundbreaking, earth-shattering, Grammy-worthy cover of MOTÖRHEAD’s “Sex & Death”…

Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)
Breaking, Music News

Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

In a recent chat with some dude named Alejandrosis on YouTube, CELTIC FROST overlord Tom Gabriel Fischer (aka Tom Warrior,…

Stryper’s Michael Sweet and Wifey Launch a ‘Faith in Music’ Foundation Because Apparently God Needs Help With Spotify
Breaking, Music News

Stryper’s Michael Sweet and Wifey Launch a ‘Faith in Music’ Foundation Because Apparently God Needs Help With Spotify

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

HOLY MOLY! STRYPER frontman (still?) Michael Sweet and his lovely (we assume) wife Lisa have descended from their ivory tower…

MIRESI: You Won’t SEE This Tactical RPG Coming (Because It’s Invisible, Get It?)
Breaking, Games News

MIRESI: You Won’t SEE This Tactical RPG Coming (Because It’s Invisible, Get It?)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

If you braved the absolute chaos that was the Tokyo Game Show this year (props to you, you masochist), then…

Crunchyroll Announces New BLEACH Mobile Game: Prepare for Disappointment Worldwide
Breaking, Games News

Crunchyroll Announces New BLEACH Mobile Game: Prepare for Disappointment Worldwide

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

OMG 😱! Did you hear?! Another BLEACH game is coming! Because, you know, we TOTALLY needed another one. 🙄 Crunchyroll,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 539 540 541 … 677 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Mercifully Spares Iran Until After Midterms
  • Travis Barker Reveals Mysterious Hospital Stay Due To Numbness
  • Travis Scott Tops Lollapalooza South America 2027 Lineup
  • Leon Bridges Sets 2027 Happiness Anytime Tour Dates
  • Starbucks Announces New Teen-Free Hours For Nervous Adults Who Just Want To Redeem Birthday Reward

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.