OMG 😱! Did you hear?! Another BLEACH game is coming! Because, you know, we TOTALLY needed another one. 🙄 Crunchyroll, bless their souls (pun intended 🤣), is teaming up to milk—I mean, *lovingly* create—a new mobile game called BLEACH: Soul Resonance. Prepare your wallets, kids! 💸💸💸
Apparently, because the anime industry doesn’t know how to do anything else, Crunchyroll and A PLUS JAPAN are joining forces to unleash BLEACH: Soul Resonance upon unsuspecting mobile users worldwide 🌎. Yes, another gacha game to drain your bank account! 🤑 It’s launching later this year, so get ready to pre-register and pretend you’re excited. 🤡
BLEACH: Soul Resonance will have a story, allegedly. 📖 But who cares about the story when you can swipe your credit card for more characters? 💳 They claim you can control your Zanpakuto with your fingers! ☝️ Just what I always wanted: to pretend I’m Ichigo on my tiny phone screen. 📱 And get this: “Each Zanpakuto comes with tailored feedback, making every slash feel realistic and putting you in the heart of the battle.” Yeah, because phone vibrations are *totally* realistic. 😂
But wait, there’s more! You can “recruit” characters with an 80-draw guarantee! 🎉 That’s right, only 80 tries to get the character you want! What a steal! 💰 As you “forge bonds” (whatever that means) with your characters, you can swap them in battle for “massive synergistic combos”! 💥 Because nothing says strategy like mashing buttons on your phone. 🕹️ According to Crunchyroll, every clash, strike, story, and iconic line is crafted with “genuine passion and care”! ❤️ Yeah, I’m sure the interns are *thrilled* to be working on this. 😒
In case you haven’t had enough BLEACH content, BLEACH: Soul Resonance follows the release of BLEACH: Rebirth of Souls. They also confirmed that BLEACH: Thousand-Year Blood War is coming back. So much BLEACH, so little time (and money). 😩
Pre-register now if you hate your money. 😈
And if that wasn’t enough, Crunchyroll launched Crunchyroll Manga! 📚 Because who needs to play the game when you can read the source material? 🤔 Now you can experience the story driving the action in BLEACH: Soul Resonance! Or, you know, just re-watch the anime for free. 🤷♀️ Your choice! 😉
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
