HOLY MOLY! STRYPER frontman (still?) Michael Sweet and his lovely (we assume) wife Lisa have descended from their ivory tower of hairspray and Bible verses to launch Faith In Music Foundation, a brand-spanking-new non-profit “dedicated to empowering musicians and fostering the next generation of music industry professionals.” Because, you know, what the music industry REALLY needs is another non-profit. 🙄
Back in the dark ages of 2013, Michael and Lisa (probably while counting their royalties) had a revelation! 🌟 God, in his infinite wisdom, was apparently nagging them to “do something more.” Like, you know, start a foundation. Because starting a band that looks like bumblebees🐝 wasn’t enough? These earth-shattering discussions over lattes☕ and backstage passes eventually morphed into the Faith In Music Foundation. Their grand plan? To help artists achieve a level of “quality and excellence” (read: sound exactly like STRYPER) that’s currently “out of reach.” Translation: nobody wants to play Christian rock anymore, so let’s force-feed it to them! 😈
The music biz, they say, is hard. No duh! It’s not like Michael started a little band called STRYPER back in the stone age of the 80s. And get this, they’re STILL touring and recording! 🤯 He’s seen it all – the highs (sold-out arenas filled with screaming fans!), the lows (that one gig in Akron where only the sound guy showed up), and the grind (trying to convince people that yellow and black spandex is still cool 😎). All this “wisdom” is now being poured into the Faith In Music Foundation. God help us all 🙏.
But wait, there’s more! Lisa, the brains 🧠 behind the operation, brings her “expertise” in nonprofit leadership and business operations. She’s the one who wrangles the money 💰, plans the events 🎉, and generally makes sure Michael doesn’t spend all their cash on more hair products. Her “steady approach” has been the secret to STRYPER‘s success. Because without her, they’d probably still be playing county fairs and selling cassettes from the trunk of their car. 🚗
Together, they’re like a power couple 💪, blending Michael‘s “creative passion” (aka singing really high) with Lisa‘s “clear strategy” (aka making sure the bills get paid). They’ve kept STRYPER afloat not just through “perseverance” (aka refusing to give up), but by running things “like a business” (aka exploiting their fans for every last penny), securing “sponsorships” (aka begging for free stuff), and always keeping the “bigger picture in mind” (aka world domination through Christian rock 🤘).
Faith In Music Foundation is their way of giving back (tax write-offs, anyone?) and paying it forward (to themselves, probably). It’s all about their “journey” (to the bank) and their hope that, with the right support (i.e., your money), more artists can create music that “truly matters” (as long as it’s about Jesus 🙏).
Michael, in his infinite humility, chimes in: “If you’ve known me and Lisa for any amount of time, you know music has never just been a career for us. It’s been a calling.” (A calling to riches and fame, obviously). “It’s taken us places we never imagined” (like the State Fair in Iowa 🌽). “Introduced us to people who changed our lives” (like their accountant). “And taught us lessons we couldn’t have learned anywhere else” (like how to market a Christian metal band to people who don’t like Christian metal). But they’ve also seen the “dark side” (like when the hairspray runs out 😱).
“Years ago,” Michael continues, “I saw a young band play their hearts out to a room of ten people.” (Probably because they sounded like Nickelback). “They slept in a van that night to save on hotel costs.” (Because they were broke). “That moment stuck with me.” (Mostly because he realized how lucky he was to be sleeping in a tour bus). “It reminded me how many musicians are doing everything right but still feel like they’re fighting a losing battle.” (Because the music industry is rigged, duh!).
“That’s why we started Faith In Music Foundation.” (To make ourselves feel better about our success). “To give back and to lift up artists who feel like they’re doing this alone.” (Mostly because nobody wants to play with them). “We’ve walked this road, we’ve felt the strain, and we believe no one with a calling to create music should be stopped by financial barriers.” (Unless they’re trying to start a black metal band 🤘).
“Through Faith In Music, we’re offering two types of artist grants:” (AKA a drop in the bucket 🪣)
Touring Support Grants to help with travel, lodging, and logistics (aka gas money and a Motel 6 🏨)
Recording Support Grants to assist with studio time, producers, and mixing/mastering (aka a demo recorded in someone’s basement 🏚️)
“Whether you’re gearing up for your first tour or finishing an album that’s been on hold, we want to help you bring it to life.” (As long as it glorifies God 🙏 and sounds exactly like STRYPER).
“Applications are officially open today and close November 15. Apply now at FaithInMusic.com.” (So we can harvest your data 😈).
“Please follow @faithinmusicfoundation and help us spread the word.” (So we can boost our follower count and look important 👑).
“Music has the power to heal, to connect, to change lives.” (And to sell a lot of records 💿). “It changed ours, and now we get to help others carry that same light forward.” (By selling them more STRYPER albums!).
At Faith In Music Foundation, Michael and Lisa believe that every artist deserves the opportunity to make their mark on the world (as long as their mark is a big, yellow, and black cross ✝️). Their mission is to build a “vibrant, inclusive community” (that excludes anyone who doesn’t believe in Jesus 🙅♀️). Through “love, kindness, and a shared passion for music,” (and a healthy dose of self-promotion), Michael and Lisa strive to create a space where everyone can thrive (as long as they’re thriving in the name of the Lord 🙏).
Photo courtesy of Faith In Music Foundation (because they’re too cheap to hire a professional photographer 📸).
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