IN FLAMES Hires Some Dude Named JON RICE to Bang on Stuff for Euro Trip 2025 (LOL)
IN FLAMES, those Swedish purveyors of… something… have apparently decided their drum stool needed a new occupant, so they’ve conscripted…
Category: Breaking
Crash Bandicoot Flick? Beg Xbox, Says The Last Of Us Overlord
Oh, sweet irony! 🤣 Neil Druckmann, the guy who brought us the gritty, emotionally-scarring masterpiece that is The Last of…
“Bad News on the Doorstep” Rolls Into PVD: Prepare for Disappointment, Rhode Island
**Oh, look, another cinematic masterpiece 🎬 is gracing us with its presence! Verdi Productions, those titans of the silver screen…
Movie Review: ‘Mountainhead’ – Jesse Armstrong’s Tech Bro-pocalypse: You’ll Wish You Were Watching ‘Succession’
Oh, sweet, merciful Bezos! 🙏 The “Succession” guy, Jesse Armstrong, is back at it again, bless his little heart. He’s…
Ozzy promises to give 120% at his final concert, which is only 20% more than medically possible
So, apparently, Ozzy Osbourne, that bat-biting legend (or should we say, legend in his own mind? 🤔), is planning a…
Progressive Rock Bands to Invade Cruise Ship in 2026: Prepare for the Nerdiest Vacation Ever
Ahoy, Prog-Rock Losers! 🛳️ Get ready to drain your trust funds and max out your credit cards because Cruise To…
Hayley Atwell’s Finest Performances: A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Ranking
Ah, Hayley Atwell, the actress who’s been in stuff. Yes, after, like, five years (or was it five decades? 🤷♂️),…
Critics Hated This 2021 Action Flick, But Normies Adored It & A Sequel is Coming to Ruin the Party Later This Year
Mortal Kombat, or as I like to call it, “Flop Kombat,” caused such a disparity between audiences and critics that…
‘HERSHEY’ Movie Adds More Celebs as Pennsylvania Transforms into Chocolate Wonderland
**OMG! 😱 The chocolate overlords at Hershey, AKA the Illuminati of cocoa, just snagged even MORE “star power” for their…
Paradise Lost Dumps Drummer, World Weeps (Not Really)
PARADISE LOST, those lovable British pioneers of moping around in graveyards, have apparently fired their drummer of the past two…