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Category: Breaking

President Trump is right’: The White House’s Favorite Lie About Trump’s ‘Alternative Facts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

President Trump is right’: The White House’s Favorite Lie About Trump’s ‘Alternative Facts

Big ElephantMarch 23, 2026March 23, 2026

Hey, fellow Americans! Welcome to another thrilling edition of “When the White House Tells the Truth!” Spoiler alert: it’s not…

Gas Prices Hit $4/Gallon: Your Wallet Weeps, Economy Shrugs
Trump Declares National Gas Price Emergency as Libs Panic
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gas Prices Hit $4/Gallon: Your Wallet Weeps, Economy Shrugs

Big ElephantMarch 23, 2026March 23, 2026

President Donald J. Trump has once again proven his economic genius as gas prices teeter on the brink of $4…

Oil Prices Skyrocket as War Threats Loom: Global Energy Body Declares Iran Shock More Epic Than the 1970s Oil Crises (and That’s Saying Something!)
Economic Turmoil Looms as Tensions Escalate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oil Prices Skyrocket as War Threats Loom: Global Energy Body Declares Iran Shock More Epic Than the 1970s Oil Crises (and That’s Saying Something!)

Big ElephantMarch 23, 2026March 23, 2026

Oil prices surged on Monday following threats of fresh attacks on Middle Eastern energy facilities by the United States and…

Minecraft LIVE Unveils Blocky Wonderland And A Bunch Of Other Stuff You’ll Probably Ignore
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft LIVE Unveils Blocky Wonderland And A Bunch Of Other Stuff You’ll Probably Ignore

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 22, 2026March 22, 2026

Minecraft LIVE just announced a theme park, a dungeon crawler sequel, and baby mobs that will never grow up. Oh,…

HEIDI SHEPHERD On Becoming Sole Singer Of BUTCHER BABIES After CARLA HARVEY’s Departure: ‘I Feel Comfortable’ — Translation: “Finally, No More Arguing Over Who Gets To Scream The Loudest!”
Breaking, Music News

HEIDI SHEPHERD On Becoming Sole Singer Of BUTCHER BABIES After CARLA HARVEY’s Departure: ‘I Feel Comfortable’ — Translation: “Finally, No More Arguing Over Who Gets To Scream The Loudest!”

Chord F. DiscordMarch 22, 2026March 22, 2026

Oh, look, it’s Heidi Shepherd, once again proving that in the rock world, being the sole frontwoman is just a…

The Pentagon’s Press Crackdown Gets Roasted: Journalists Fight Back with More Sass Than a Soap Opera Star
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Pentagon’s Press Crackdown Gets Roasted: Journalists Fight Back with More Sass Than a Soap Opera Star

Big ElephantMarch 22, 2026March 22, 2026

Trump’s War Secretary Hegseth Defies Court, Double-Downs on Censoring the Press Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is escalating his war on…

Iran Launches Missiles at US-UK Base in Indian Ocean—Proving They Can Hit Water, Too! | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Launches Missiles at US-UK Base in Indian Ocean—Proving They Can Hit Water, Too! | CNN Politics

Big ElephantMarch 22, 2026March 22, 2026

Look Out, Liberals – Iran’s Ballistic Blunder Proves Trump Was Right All Along! Oh, snap! Iran just took a swing…

Trump’s ICE Airport Adventure: Pay Up or Get Kicked Out!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ICE Airport Adventure: Pay Up or Get Kicked Out!

Big ElephantMarch 22, 2026March 22, 2026

President Trump’s Airport Crackdown: ICE Agents to Patrol Security Lines as Shutdown Continues In a bold move that has liberal…

SIX FEET UNDER’s JACK OWEN: CHRIS BARNES Is ‘Very Approachable’ And ‘Very Relatable’ (Because He’s Not Actually A Zombie)
Chris Barnes Is Just a Big Teddy Bear… With a Chainsaw for a Paw, Says Jack Owen
Breaking, Music News

SIX FEET UNDER’s JACK OWEN: CHRIS BARNES Is ‘Very Approachable’ And ‘Very Relatable’ (Because He’s Not Actually A Zombie)

Chord F. DiscordMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

In a shocking revelation that has the metal community clutching their chest plates in disbelief, Jack Owen of SIX FEET…

Sparklers and Suspects: The Firework Firm That Lit Up the Plot!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sparklers and Suspects: The Firework Firm That Lit Up the Plot!

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Who needs ISIS when you’ve got Phantom Fireworks? Terrorist Shoppers Caught Red-Handed! Just when you thought it was safe to…

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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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