Category: The Onion

    Read MoreThe OnionHIALEAH, FL—Crimson droplets splattered across local man Cameron Downs’ white porcelain sink Thursday after he began flossing and…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Addressing the ongoing outbreak in Texas that has infected at least 124 state residents and killed one child,…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Insisting they were serious this time as they addressed all 340 million Americans, officials with the U.S. Department…

    Read MoreThe OnionIn an effort to win back customers and boost profits, Starbucks’ new CEO Brian Niccol is implementing sweeping…

    Read MoreThe OnionBOSTON—In a new study conducted to examine the effects of high-octane vehicles on getting her back once and…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Cautiously optimistic that the trend would continue to arouse no suspicions from readers, executives at AARP reportedly wondered…

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Pope Francis Left In Hot Popemobile appeared first on The Onion.   FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…

    Read MoreThe OnionITHACA, NY—Noting that the evolutionary quirk results in plenty of familial strife, herpetologists at Cornell University confirmed Tuesday…

    Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—With thousands flocking to social media to discuss a scene from the popular HBO series in which…