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Category: The Onion

The Onion

Features Of Meta’s New AI App

FinnMay 19, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionIn an effort to compete with the popularity of ChatGPT, Meta has launched its very own standalone AI…

Scientists Studying Man Who Let Snakes Bite Him Over 200 Times
The Onion

Scientists Studying Man Who Let Snakes Bite Him Over 200 Times

FinnMay 17, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionA Wisconsin man has voluntarily been bitten by snakes hundreds of times, with scientists now studying his blood…

The Onion

Michael Strahan Surpasses Diane Sawyer As Good Morning America’s All-Time Sack Leader

FinnMay 16, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—After months of closing in on the former news anchor’s legendary record, Michael Strahan surpassed Diane Sawyer on…

Cannes Bans Nudity On Red Carpet
The Onion

Cannes Bans Nudity On Red Carpet

FinnMay 15, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCannes Film Festival issued an updated red carpet dress code that effectively bans full nudity and “voluminous” ensembles,…

The Onion

Trump Grants Refugee Status To Former SS Guards

FinnMay 15, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Condemning what he described as the disturbing and unjust treatment of the group, President Donald Trump granted refugee…

Bill Belichick Fairly Sure He Clapping for Correct Beauty Pageant Contestant
The Onion

Bill Belichick Fairly Sure He Clapping for Correct Beauty Pageant Contestant

FinnMay 14, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Bill Belichick Fairly Sure He Clapping for Correct Beauty Pageant Contestant appeared first on The Onion.  …

Baby Saves Affair
The Onion

Baby Saves Affair

FinnMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionSANTA CLARA, CA—Following a long rough patch that had led them to consider ending their adulterous relationship, local…

NBA Combine Tests How Well Prospects DM Models On Instagram
The Onion

NBA Combine Tests How Well Prospects DM Models On Instagram

FinnMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Evaluating whether top college talent like Ace Bailey, Dylan Harper, and Kasparas Jakučionis can actually clean up on…

Tips For Planning A Mother’s Day Brunch
The Onion

Tips For Planning A Mother’s Day Brunch

FinnMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWhether you go to a restaurant or host an event in your home, brunch is a great way…

God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle
The Onion

God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle

FinnMay 8, 2025May 10, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionTHE HEAVENS—Cursing aloud the moment news of Leo XIV’s election arrived on His phone screen, the Lord Almighty…

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Finn December 31, 2025
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