FDA Bans Red Food Dye
Read MoreThe OnionThe U.S. Food and Drug Administration has banned the use of red dye No. 3 in food, beverages,…
Category: The Onion
Egyptologists Unearth Depictions Of Simple Ramps, Levers Aliens Used To Build Pyramids
Read MoreThe OnionCAIRO—Finally solving the mystery of how such architectural wonders could have been built with primitive tools in ancient…
Pros And Cons Of Buying Greenland
Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump has expressed his interest in buying Greenland, an idea he first floated back in 2019.…
Kendrick Lamar Hit With Drive-By Summons Outside L.A. Nightclub
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—In a chaotic scene that saw young people screaming and ducking for cover in the moments after…
How Mark Zuckerberg Is Making Meta More MAGA-Friendly
Read MoreThe OnionMeta founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has made a major right-wing pivot, including adding Trump ally Dana White…
Nursing Home Told Man Playing Accordion For Them Is Billy Joel
Read MoreThe OnionSOUTH PLAINFIELD, NJ—Having been informed that he canceled a major stop on his big world tour just to…
Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and…
Pete Hegseth Faces Difficult Confirmation Hearing
Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump’s controversial nominee for defense secretary, Pete Hegseth, appeared for questioning on Capitol Hill in a…
Special Counsel Jack Smith Resigns
Read MoreThe OnionU.S. Special Counsel Jack Smith, who led the federal cases against Donald Trump on charges of trying to…
Target Losing Market Share As More Americans Opt To Forgo All Earthly Possessions
Read MoreThe OnionMINNEAPOLIS—After months of declining sales at the retail chain, experts confirmed Tuesday that Target was losing market share…