Category: The Onion

    Read MoreThe OnionTate McRae, the artist behind the pop hit “Greedy,” has released her second studio album, So Close To…

    Read MoreThe OnionSILVER SPRING, MD—As mass firings of career experts and scientists continued to roil the federal government, officials confirmed…

    Read MoreThe OnionCLEVELAND—In a well-meaning but ultimately futile attempt at emotional support, Chuck Fineman, a local husband who was no…

    Read MoreThe OnionVATICAN CITY—Revealing that he had quickly distinguished himself at the four-day invitation-only event, Vatican sources confirmed Friday that…

    Read MoreThe OnionHIALEAH, FL—Crimson droplets splattered across local man Cameron Downs’ white porcelain sink Thursday after he began flossing and…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Addressing the ongoing outbreak in Texas that has infected at least 124 state residents and killed one child,…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Insisting they were serious this time as they addressed all 340 million Americans, officials with the U.S. Department…

    Read MoreThe OnionIn an effort to win back customers and boost profits, Starbucks’ new CEO Brian Niccol is implementing sweeping…

    Read MoreThe OnionBOSTON—In a new study conducted to examine the effects of high-octane vehicles on getting her back once and…