Category: The Onion

       Internal Department of Homeland Security documents revealed that less than 14% of the nearly 400,000 immigrants arrested by U.S.…

       BOSTON—In a move hailed as a breakthrough for round-the-clock gambling, sports betting company DraftKings announced Tuesday that users would…

       OWENSBORO, KY—Insisting that the Winter Olympic sport was “basically just lying there and letting gravity happen,” local man Michael…

       CHICAGO—Seeking to expand beyond sports coverage into radical new forms and expressions, Barstool Sports announced Monday that it would…

       WASHINGTON—Advising her that even the most basic gesture of contrition would solve all her problems instantly, lawmakers reminded convicted…

       The Department of Homeland Security warned that the use of toxins, such as ricin and cyanide, to poison domestic…

       With the popularity of streaming megahit KPop Demon Hunters, the formation of “global girl group” Katseye, and the reunion…

       The family of Alan Andrews, 52, welcomes any suggestions for alternate phrasings of “suicide by cop.” The post Alan…

       The post Drunken Seahawks Fans Climbing Space Needle appeared first on The Onion.    The post Drunken Seahawks Fans Climbing…

       BOISE, ID—Crying out “¡Dios mío!” and “¡Ayúdame!” as soon as they heard the opening notes of the Puerto Rican…