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Category: The Onion

Spencer Pratt Announces Run For L.A. Mayor
The Onion

Spencer Pratt Announces Run For L.A. Mayor

FinnJanuary 14, 2026

       Reality television personality Spencer Pratt announced a longshot bid for Los Angeles mayor, with The Hills star vowing to…

God Admits Imitation Crab Tastes Just As Good
The Onion

God Admits Imitation Crab Tastes Just As Good

FinnJanuary 14, 2026

       THE HEAVENS—Praising the man-made food item as “on par with the real thing,” God Almighty, Our Lord and Heavenly…

Hospital Accused Of Faking Cancer Wing For Attention
The Onion

Hospital Accused Of Faking Cancer Wing For Attention

FinnJanuary 13, 2026

       The post Hospital Accused Of Faking Cancer Wing For Attention appeared first on The Onion.    The post Hospital Accused…

GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform
The Onion

GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform

FinnJanuary 13, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Adopting a new set of national policy positions ahead of this year’s midterms, top GOP leaders released an updated…

Zillow Adds Segregation Score
The Onion

Zillow Adds Segregation Score

FinnJanuary 13, 2026

       SEATTLE—In an effort to help U.S. homebuyers find the kinds of neighborhoods they’re looking for, online real estate marketplace…

DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes
The Onion

DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Asserting that the images were “100% authentic,” the Justice Department released Monday what appeared to be deepfake nudes of…

X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures
The Onion

X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       BASTROP, TX—In a trend that raises serious questions about consent on the social media platform, rising numbers of X…

Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’
The Onion

Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       The post Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’ appeared first on…

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With The Stars Of ‘Heated Rivalry’
The Onion

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With The Stars Of ‘Heated Rivalry’

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       Hockey romance Heated Rivalry has been renewed for Season 2. The Onion sat down with breakout stars Connor Storrie…

One Of Nation’s Oldest Newspapers Shutters After Almost 240 Years
The Onion

One Of Nation’s Oldest Newspapers Shutters After Almost 240 Years

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, one of the nation’s oldest newspapers with roots dating back to 1786, will cease all operations…

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