Category: The Onion

       WASHINGTON—As he struggled to remember how his remarks on sending more troops to the Middle East had digressed into…

       JERUSALEM—In an effort to soften the blow for a human race eagerly awaiting His glorious arrival, Jesus Christ, the…

       The International Olympic Committee banned transgender women from female events at the upcoming 2028 Los Angeles Olympics and future…

       NASA will repurpose components from a scrapped space station to construct a $20 billion ‌base on the moon’s surface…

       WASHINGTON—To announce that his decades-long project to revolutionize modern oncology was nearing fruition, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert…

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       ITASCA, IL—In what researchers are hailing as an incredible breakthrough in the understanding of early childhood development, a study…

       JERUSALEM—Historians confirmed Friday that a recent archaeological find in the Judean Hills is an authentic early Christian scroll, one…

       Delta Air Lines cut off special services for members of Congress due to the impact of the partial government…

       SAN FRANCISCO—Stressing to him that the elimination of the entire planet’s populace was the only solution to his problems,…