Category: The Onion

       The U.S. economy experienced almost zero job growth in 2025, with the Bureau of Labor Statistics data indicating that…

       WASHINGTON—Hailing the move as a more wholesome and patriotic substitute for the current U.S. territory, conservative advocacy group Turning Point USA announced Thursday that it was setting up an…

       The post Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well appeared first on The Onion.    The post Pam Bondi Thought…

       SAN FRANCISCO—Heralding what it called a “bold new age” in warping the mind of the nation’s elderly leader, OpenAI…

       A study published in Science found that a bonobo named Kanzi could play along when researchers offered him invisible…

       The post Luge Gold Medalist Probably Main Luge Guy Now appeared first on The Onion.    The post Luge Gold…

       The post Keys, Spare Change Fly Out Of Luge Athlete’s Pocket On First Turn appeared first on The Onion.…

       Internal Department of Homeland Security documents revealed that less than 14% of the nearly 400,000 immigrants arrested by U.S.…

       BOSTON—In a move hailed as a breakthrough for round-the-clock gambling, sports betting company DraftKings announced Tuesday that users would…

       OWENSBORO, KY—Insisting that the Winter Olympic sport was “basically just lying there and letting gravity happen,” local man Michael…