Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: The Onion

Local Dad Really Banking On Sports To Instill Core Values In Children
The Onion

Local Dad Really Banking On Sports To Instill Core Values In Children

FinnFebruary 25, 2026

       WAUKESHA, WI—Saying his approach to parenting was “hands-off” as far as imparting fundamental life lessons was concerned, local dad…

Bodybuilder Films Self Eating Chicken To Make Sure Form Correct 
The Onion

Bodybuilder Films Self Eating Chicken To Make Sure Form Correct 

FinnFebruary 25, 2026

       ATLANTA—Explaining that watching his movements on video had really helped him identify weaknesses and track his gains and losses,…

Trump Invites Victims Of Jeffrey Epstein Investigation As SOTU Guests
The Onion

Trump Invites Victims Of Jeffrey Epstein Investigation As SOTU Guests

FinnFebruary 24, 2026

       The post Trump Invites Victims Of Jeffrey Epstein Investigation As SOTU Guests appeared first on The Onion.    The post…

Man Proud Of Hair On Ground After Haircut
The Onion

Man Proud Of Hair On Ground After Haircut

FinnFebruary 24, 2026

       ERIE, PA—Feeling what he described as intense satisfaction as he gazed at the floor around the barber chair, local…

Tyra Banks Says Taking Abuse From Tyra Banks Simply Reflective Of How The Industry Works
The Onion

Tyra Banks Says Taking Abuse From Tyra Banks Simply Reflective Of How The Industry Works

FinnFebruary 24, 2026

       SYDNEY—Responding to backlash following the release of Netflix’s America’s Next Top Model docuseries, supermodel and television personality Tyra Banks…

U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor
The Onion

U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor

FinnFebruary 23, 2026

       The post U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor appeared first on The Onion.    The post U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor…

U.S. Tourists Advised To Temporarily Avoid Shootouts With Mexican Drug Cartels
The Onion

U.S. Tourists Advised To Temporarily Avoid Shootouts With Mexican Drug Cartels

FinnFebruary 23, 2026

       WASHINGTON—In an effort to protect visitors to the violently contested territories south of the U.S. border, the State Department…

Trump Invites Caucasian Half Of Alysa Liu To Visit White House
The Onion

Trump Invites Caucasian Half Of Alysa Liu To Visit White House

FinnFebruary 23, 2026

       The post Trump Invites Caucasian Half Of Alysa Liu To Visit White House appeared first on The Onion.    The…

What To Know About The SAVE America Act
The Onion

What To Know About The SAVE America Act

FinnFebruary 23, 2026

       If passed into law, the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act will create new barriers to voting in federal elections…

RFK Jr. Claims Anti-Protein Extremists Left Head Of Lettuce On His Doorstep
The Onion

RFK Jr. Claims Anti-Protein Extremists Left Head Of Lettuce On His Doorstep

FinnFebruary 23, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Saying his advocacy for consuming animal products had painted a target on his back, Health and Human Services Secretary…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 47 48 49 … 134 Next

Latest posts

  • Teleprompter Guy Knows Scripts Better Than Stock Market Apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT claims Venezuela deal as biggest oil deal in history
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President Donald J Trump mourns King Harald of Norway
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT backs Bruce Blakeman over Kathy Hochul for New York Governor
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: 83 statues cleaned and fixed near White House grounds

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.