Category: The Onion

       WASHINGTON—Expressing certainty that they wouldn’t make it to spring without resorting to drastic measures, the American people stated Wednesday…

       HIALEAH, FL—Despite ready access to an almost inexhaustible archive of exceptional movies, television shows, and print literature, local dad…

       WASHINGTON—Amid shocking materials that include a photo in which the word ‘HELP’ has been spelled out with rocks, seaweed,…

       NEW YORK—Doing everything within her power to ensure the big day would be absolutely perfect, pop superstar Taylor Swift paid…

       The post DOJ Fails To Redact Thousands Of Secret Epstein Family Recipes | Onion News Network appeared first on…

       WASHINGTON—As shocking footage surfaced of his participation in the rowdy celebration, FBI director Kash Patel faced backlash Thursday after he…

       The British royal family is under pressure to remove Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor from its line of succession. The Onion sat…

       CHANDLER, AZ—Noting that he had shown a lot of vulnerability by communicating his true feelings so explicitly, sources confirmed Thursday…

       Brad Reese, the grandson of the man who invented the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, is publicly criticizing The Hershey…

       LOS ANGELES—Responding to concerns that his upcoming Michael Jackson biopic would downplay accusations of sexual abuse involving the late…