Trump Gives Russia 10-Day Deadline To End Ukraine
Read MoreThe OnionEDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Shortening the 50-day deadline he had previously given Vladimir Putin to put a stop to the war-torn…
Category: The Onion
Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom Awkwardly Pretend Not To See Each Other While Out Naked Paddleboarding
Read MoreThe OnionCAGLIARI, ITALY—Groaning as they both realized the other unclothed person on the water was indeed their ex, Katy…
Tinder Update Classifies Female Age Input Over 35 As System Error
Read MoreThe OnionWEST HOLLYWOOD, CA—Causing widespread frustration among women who dared to search for love in middle adulthood, an update…
Hulk Hogan Dead At 71
Read MoreThe OnionHulk Hogan, who used his bombastic showmanship to transform professional wrestling and take the sport mainstream, died in…
FDA Drug Approval AI Generates Fake Studies
Read MoreThe OnionThe FDA’s new AI designed to speed up drug approvals has been found to fabricate studies and misrepresent…
Most Anticipated Celebrity Memoirs Of 2025
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Most Anticipated Celebrity Memoirs Of 2025 appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…
Tesla Opens Diner
Read MoreThe OnionTesla CEO Elon Musk launched the company’s first diner in Los Angeles, with the futuristic pit stop featuring…
AG Informed Trump His Name Tattooed All Over Epstein’s Body
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In another dramatic twist in the ongoing scandal involving the late sex trafficker, sources confirmed this week that…
Ghislaine Maxwell Can’t Help But Notice Interview Room Covered In Plastic Sheeting
Read MoreThe OnionTALLAHASSEE, FL—Perplexed that the Department of Justice had chosen a setting with such strange decor to ask her…
Trump: ‘We Could Argue All Day About Who Is Or Isn’t A Child Rapist’
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Trump: ‘We Could Argue All Day About Who Is Or Isn’t A Child Rapist’ appeared first…