MARBLEHEAD, MA—Her body seizing with energy after hearing the request from her youngest son to pass the asparagus, local mother Christina Nadler’s eyes reportedly rolled back in her head Thursday as she fed on her family’s enjoyment of the dinner she had prepared. “Yes, yes, ask for another Parker House roll—it only makes me stronger!” said Nadler, grasping the edges of her chair in order to stabilize herself against the influx of overwhelming power surging into her from the sight of her family appreciating the meal. “You will eat the lemon-pepper chicken, and I will eat the power that this lends me. It may have taken 90 minutes to prepare this nourishing meal, but it was a small price to pay for this grand feast of untold strength I now enjoy. Oh God! More! More! Eat! More!” At press time, the violently trembling Nadler had collapsed to the floor with a triumphant shriek after the family conceded they had all saved room for dessert.
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MARBLEHEAD, MA—Her body seizing with energy after hearing the request from her youngest son to pass the asparagus, local mother Christina Nadler’s eyes reportedly rolled back in her head Thursday as she fed on her family’s enjoyment of the dinner she had prepared. “Yes, yes, ask for another Parker House roll—it only makes me stronger!”
The post Mom’s Eyes Roll Back In Head At Dinner Table As She Feeds On Family’s Enjoyment Of Food appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.