‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
PROVIDENCE, RI—In the hours following a violent rampage in Rhode Island in which a lone attacker killed at least…
Category: The Onion
In-N-Out Removes ‘67’ From Ordering System
In-N-Out Burger quietly removed “67” from its order call-out system nationwide, apparently to deter youths from erupting into cheers…
Merriam-Webster Accused Of Bias After ‘Dictionary’ Named Word Of The Year
SPRINGFIELD, MA—Facing intense backlash and scrutiny from critics who say the reference book publisher had failed to take all…
New Eras Tour Docuseries Offers Rare Look At Taylor Swift
BURBANK, CA—Drawing back the curtain on the reclusive and mysterious life of the multiplatinum recording artist, Disney+ premiered a…
Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz
The post Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz appeared first on The Onion. The…
This Your Best One Yet, Report Nation’s Sycophants
WASHINGTON—As they nodded their heads in approval and echoed the sentiment that “you really knocked it out of the…
Man Rides Disneyland Attraction 15,000 Times
A Disney superfan celebrated his 15,000th ride on the Cars-themed Radiator Springs Racers at Disney California Adventure, having documented…
Trump Calls Groceries ‘A Hoax’
MOUNT POCONO, PA—Delivering a highly anticipated speech about the state of the economy, President Donald Trump doubled down this…
Rubio Orders State Department Braille Signage Switch To ‘Times New Roman’
The post Rubio Orders State Department Braille Signage Switch To ‘Times New Roman’ appeared first on The Onion. The…
Artist Profile: Katseye
Girl group Katseye is nominated for two awards at the 2026 Grammys, including Best New Artist. The Onion shares…