Category: The Onion

    Read MoreThe OnionFollowing his Oval Office clash with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, President Donald Trump has paused military aid to…

    Read MoreThe OnionRANBURNE, AL—Concluding an hours-long summit with top thinkers from the area, residents of a town with a heavyset…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Promising a glorious future marked by limitless prosperity for the East Asian nation, President Donald Trump outlined a…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Groaning with exhaustion and joint pain after their late bedtime last night, members of Congress were reportedly all…

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Sergeant-At-Arms Ejects Al Green After Repeated Warnings About His Race appeared first on The Onion.   Finn…

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—In the aftermath of a stunning trade that saw the point guard move from the Texas city…

    Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—Astonished by the sheer volume of exhibition basketball knowledge that one person could possess, sources confirmed Monday…

    Read MoreThe OnionFAIRFAX, VA—Calling the young students “the true enemy of gun rights,” the National Rifle Association reportedly issued an…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Declaring the utter lack of alcohol in the Pentagon kitchen to be a “national emergency,” Defense Secretary Pete…