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Category: The Onion

Savannah Bananas Commemorate 9/11 With Solemn ‘Macarena’ Performance
The Onion

Savannah Bananas Commemorate 9/11 With Solemn ‘Macarena’ Performance

FinnSeptember 11, 2026

       SAVANNAH, GA—In remembrance of the lives lost on that fateful day, sources confirmed that the roster of the Savannah…

Kiss Cam Operator Not Going To Stop Until All 32,000 Fans Have Kissed
The Onion

Kiss Cam Operator Not Going To Stop Until All 32,000 Fans Have Kissed

FinnSeptember 10, 2026

       The post Kiss Cam Operator Not Going To Stop Until All 32,000 Fans Have Kissed appeared first on The…

Bombshell Report Reveals Netanyahu Had Advanced Warning Of Oct. 7 Attacks
The Onion

Bombshell Report Reveals Netanyahu Had Advanced Warning Of Oct. 7 Attacks

FinnSeptember 10, 2026

       An explosive report revealed that the United Arab Emirates warned Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu about an imminent attack…

Stars Share Their Favorite Fall Fashion Secrets
The Onion

Stars Share Their Favorite Fall Fashion Secrets

FinnSeptember 10, 2026

       Stars Share Their Favorite Fall Fashion Secrets As the weather cools down, millions of Americans are adjusting their wardrobes…

Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities
The Onion

Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities

FinnSeptember 10, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Saying the tragic events of 25 years ago were just the beginning in the nation’s blue states, President Donald…

The World According to Harp
The Onion

The World According to Harp

FinnSeptember 10, 2026

       The post The World According to Harp appeared first on The Onion.     Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…

Biggest Revelations From ‘Musk’
The Onion

Biggest Revelations From ‘Musk’

FinnSeptember 10, 2026

       Musk, a new documentary about the SpaceX and Tesla CEO by Oscar winner Alex Gibney, premiered at the Venice…

Linda Westerman
The Onion

Linda Westerman

FinnSeptember 10, 2026

       Linda Westerman, 53, died Sunday but seriously looks so good you cannot even tell that she’s dead. The post…

Democracy Files For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy
The Onion

Democracy Files For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

FinnSeptember 9, 2026

       The post Democracy Files For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy appeared first on The Onion.     Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical…

‘Heated Rivalry’ Producers Tease Season 2 Arc In Which Ilya Diagnosed With Depression Only Blow Jobs Can Cure  
The Onion

‘Heated Rivalry’ Producers Tease Season 2 Arc In Which Ilya Diagnosed With Depression Only Blow Jobs Can Cure  

FinnSeptember 9, 2026

       TORONTO—Sharing new details about what fans could expect next from the hit series, Heated Rivalry producers teased Wednesday that…

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