Democrats Warn Cutting State Propaganda Will Lead To Fascism
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Democrats sounded an alarm Friday, warning that cutting funding for state-sponsored propaganda programs would lead to…
Day: May 2, 2025
Study Finds Ozempic May Reduce Signs Of Fatty Liver Disease
Read MoreThe OnionA study in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that semaglutides, such as Ozempic and Wegovy, may…
Good News: The Duck Hunt Dog Has Passed Away
KYOTO — The “Duck Hunt Dog” from the classic video game Duck Hunt has died, Nintendo announced Friday. Read MoreBabylon…
‘GTA VI’ Delayed Until Developers Get Grades Up
Read MoreThe OnionEDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Scolding thousands of employees for letting themselves become distracted from their schooling, Rockstar Games announced Friday that…
OMG! 👴🎸👴 Still Alive?! Steven Tyler & Joe Perry Claw Their Way Back Onstage! 🦖🤘😂
OMG! 😱 Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, those dinosaurs 🦖 of rock, actually shared a stage again! I know, I…
Jeremy Renner Says Disney Offered Him Pocket Lint and a Pat on the Back for Hawkeye Season 2 After Almost Becoming Roadkill 🤕, Guess They Thought He’d Be Grateful to Be Alive 😂
OMG! 😱 Jeremy Renner, AKA Hawkeye (the Avenger who brings a bow and arrow to a gun fight 🤣), finally…
EVE Online: Legion Expansion Announced at Fanfest 2025, Promising Even MORE Ways to Lose Your Ships and Sanity 🚀🔥🤡
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because CCP Games, bless their cotton socks, just announced *another* expansion for EVE Online at Fanfest…
Trump Revokes PBS Funding After Antique Grandfather Clock Receives Meager Appraisal
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Signing the executive order just minutes after storming off the set, President Donald Trump revoked federal funding for…
Pitching Machine Tosses No-Hitter Against Local Dad
RANCHO-CUCAMONGA, CA — In a historic display of baseball prowess, a pitching machine tossed a no-hitter against local dad Keith…
🎮 GTA 6 postponed for the DUMBEST reason: not enough whip-crackers! The laziest juniors just sabotaged Release of the Year
Alright, invisible keyboard warriors and armchair generals, put down your Mountain Dew and Cheetos — it’s time to talk about…