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Day: May 3, 2025

Chipotle Announces Plans To Get Even Worse
Babylon Bee

Chipotle Announces Plans To Get Even Worse

FinnMay 3, 2025

NEWPORT BEACH, CA — Chipotle executives unveiled plans today for the restaurant chain to somehow get even worse.   Read MoreBabylon…

Bill Belichick’s Girlfriend Leaves Him For Lou Holtz
Babylon Bee

Bill Belichick’s Girlfriend Leaves Him For Lou Holtz

FinnMay 3, 2025

CHAPEL HILL, NC — Sources close to Jordon Hudson confirmed today that the 24-year-old has officially dumped Bill Belichick for…

Conductor Asks Congregation To Stop Yelling ‘Freebird!’ During Handbell Performance
Babylon Bee

Conductor Asks Congregation To Stop Yelling ‘Freebird!’ During Handbell Performance

FinnMay 3, 2025

FORT WAYNE, IN — Handbell choir conductor Matthew Grey was recently forced to ask the congregation to stop yelling “FREEBIRD!”…

Dems Update Statue Of Liberty To Say ‘Give Me Your Wife Beaters’
Babylon Bee

Dems Update Statue Of Liberty To Say ‘Give Me Your Wife Beaters’

FinnMay 3, 2025

U.S. — Democrats have updated the famous “New Colossus” poem on the Statue of Liberty to simply read, “Give us…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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