What’s In Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump’s budget megabill is in the House of Representatives after being narrowly passed by the Senate.…
Category: The Onion
FDA Recalls 3 Oranges To Prove They Can Juggle
Read MoreThe OnionSILVER SPRING, MD—Issuing a public warning for Americans to watch or they might miss out, the U.S. Food…
‘1000-Lb Sisters’ Episode Begins With Disclaimer That Something Wrong With You For Watching
Read MoreThe OnionATLANTA—Reminding you that the views expressed in the show serve as a reflection of your own depravity, a…
Scientists No Closer To Uncovering Where Friend Finds These Bozos
Read MoreThe OnionMADISON, WI—Warning that each new iteration of dummy seems to be more witless than the last, a team…
Closeted Pride Parade Takes Place In Garage
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Closeted Pride Parade Takes Place In Garage appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical…
Driving Surges In Popularity Thanks To ‘F1’ Film
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Coinciding with a spike in interest in cars and moving fast, a trend report published Friday by…
Report: It Will Never Feel Right Seeing Dad In Backseat Of Car
Read MoreThe OnionST. PETERSBURG, FL—Noting that the change in status was disconcerting and weird for everyone involved, family sources released…
Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical…
Man Gets Stuck In Chimney While Trying To Rescue Dog Trapped In Building
Read MoreThe OnionFirefighters had to rescue a man who got stuck in the chimney of a Connecticut parks building while…
Taylor Swift Wakes Up From Nightmare Where Travis Kelce Wins Oscar Before Her
Read MoreThe OnionBOCA RATON, FL—Sitting straight up in bed in a cold sweat as she struggled to shake the horrifying…