Category: The Onion

    Read MoreThe OnionThe following is an open letter from Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce P. Tetraeder that was included with each…

    Read MoreThe OnionAn 80-year-old man has told police he was wrong to drive down Rome’s famed Spanish Steps after firefighters…

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Confirming that doctors had performed the procedure successfully, sources reported Friday that Sabrina Carpenter had undergone a…

    Read MoreThe OnionHOUSTON—Recounting the deeply spiritual event as one that was life-changing but contractually difficult to articulate, area man Kyle…

    Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Expressing concern that the small aircraft was going to accidentally hurt itself in its panic, passengers at O’Hare…

    Read MoreThe OnionCHATTANOOGA, TN—In the midst of an armed bank robbery that authorities said is still ongoing, an unidentified gunman…

    Read MoreThe OnionBALTIMORE—As public schools across the country increasingly face budget shortfalls, educators like Patricia Harper, a fifth-grade teacher in…

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—In recognition of their outstanding contributions to the true crime genre, convicted killers Lyle and Erik Menendez…