Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: action

Conan O’Brien Humiliates Himself in Borderlands 4 for Clout
Breaking, Games News

Conan O’Brien Humiliates Himself in Borderlands 4 for Clout

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Oh, dear GOD, grab your dentures and adult diapers, folks! Team Coco, 2K, and Gearbox Software are BACK with another…

Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview
Breaking, Games News

Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Oh great, another reboot. Just what the gaming world needed, right? πŸ™„ As someone who vaguely remembers playing *Onimusha* back…

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle
Breaking, Movie News

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle

FinnSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

So, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, bless his heart πŸ™„, is apparently shedding his mountain of muscle πŸ’ͺ to morph into…

Shadow’s Edge: Witness Jackie Chan and Tony Leung’s Hilarious Attempt at a Thriller in This Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Shadow’s Edge: Witness Jackie Chan and Tony Leung’s Hilarious Attempt at a Thriller in This Trailer

FinnSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

OMG! 😱Is Jackie Chan seriously still doing this? 🀣 I mean, bless his heart, but he’s back in “action-thriller” mode…

Gamescom 2025: Crimson Desert “Preview” – Prepare to be mildly whelmed by this “complex” fantasy snorefest
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom 2025: Crimson Desert “Preview” – Prepare to be mildly whelmed by this “complex” fantasy snorefest

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

So, I played Pearl Abyss’s Crimson Desert, right? πŸ™„ And let me tell you, it’s a game that thinks it’s…

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars
Breaking, Games News

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 🀯 Can you believe it? Activision, the geniuses behind *Call of Duty*, apparently said “Nah, fam” to a Steven…

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiemβ€”Oh Look, Another Zombie Game
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiemβ€”Oh Look, Another Zombie Game

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

OMG! 😱 Calling Resident Evil Requiem “one of the most anticipated games” is a HUGE stretch. πŸ™„ After EIGHT years…

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)
Breaking, Music News

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

So, Jack Osbourne, bless his little cotton socks, decided to grace us with his presence and tell us all about…

CNN Says Here Are 5 Things You Should Care About (But Probably Won’t)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Says Here Are 5 Things You Should Care About (But Probably Won’t)

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Folks, another day, another assault on American values by the liberal media! CNN, still pushing their fake news agenda, tries…

US Military Accidentally Sinks Caribbean Cruise Ship, Blames ‘Drugs,’ Rubio Cheers
Elephant Reads CNN

US Military Accidentally Sinks Caribbean Cruise Ship, Blames ‘Drugs,’ Rubio Cheers

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Folks, President Trump just took out another trash barge full of Venezuelan commie drugs! Secretary of State Rubio confirmed our…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 67 68 69 … 84 Next

Latest posts

  • McConnell’s Mysterious Disappearance Somehow Not Huge Headline Everywhere
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE great golfer has very little time to play golf anymore
  • Tinder tired of helping you avoid humans
  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.