Oh, look, another movie adaptation of a book. 🙄 This time it’s *Project Hail Mary*, because apparently, Hollywood has run out of original ideas faster than I run out of snacks during a Netflix binge. Get ready for Ryan Gosling to save the world… again. Because, you know, he hasn’t done that enough already. Maybe he’ll do it with the same level of enthusiasm as he did in *La La Land*. 😴
So, the plot? Oh, it’s a real thinker. 🙄 Gosling wakes up in space, doesn’t remember who he is (because amnesia is *totally* an original plot device), and has to save the world because the sun is DYING. Yeah, because that’s not dramatic or anything. But wait, there’s MORE! He makes an “unexpected friendship” along the way. I bet it’s with an alien. Because nothing says “groundbreaking cinema” like a human-alien buddy-cop movie IN SPACE. 👽👮♀️
Science teacher Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) wakes up on a spaceship light years from home with no recollection of who he is or how he got there. As his memory returns, he begins to uncover his mission: solve the riddle of the mysterious substance causing the sun to die out. He must call on his scientific knowledge and unorthodox ideas to save everything on Earth from extinction… but an unexpected friendship means he may not have to do it alone.
“I love the book, so looking forward to this,” says someone. Oh honey, bless your heart. You actually have *hope* for a book adaptation? You sweet summer child. 🤣 Prepare for disappointment. They’ll probably butcher your favorite scenes and add some unnecessary love triangle because that’s what the people want.
Based on the novel by Andy Weir, the film is directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller. The screenplay is written by Drew Goodard.
Okay, so we have Phil Lord and Christopher Miller directing? The guys who gave us *The Lego Movie* and then got fired from *Solo*? 🤔 Well, that’s… a choice. Drew Goddard is writing the screenplay, which, fine, he did *The Martian*, so maybe he knows something about space. Or maybe he just knows how to write Matt Damon into a corner. Either way, fingers crossed they don’t ruin another beloved book. 🤞
Project Hail Mary stars Ryan Gosling, Sandra Hüller, Lionel Boyce, Ken Leung, Milana Vayntrub.
Oh great, they got Sandra Hüller, who was amazing in *Anatomy of a Fall*. So, now she will be forever be in the hail mary movie which will diminish her achievements.
The film will be with us in 2026.
2026, huh? That gives them plenty of time to add even MORE CGI and plot holes. 📅 Perfect. Can’t wait to see how they stretch this out to a 3-hour runtime.
(Poster: Looks like every other sci-fi movie poster ever. Someone floating in space, looking pensive. Yawn.😴)
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
