Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Agenda

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Supreme Court to Hear Case of Rastafarian Forced to Shave Dreadlocks – Another Attempt to Undermine Law Enforcement? **Here we…

Trump Gets Owned on Affordability by His Beloved Fox News (Yes, Really) | CNN Business
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets Owned on Affordability by His Beloved Fox News (Yes, Really) | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, doesn’t want to hear about the “affordability” crisis, because there isn’t one! The Fake…

Supreme Court Sides With Trump on Trans Passports: Because Pronouns Are Hard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Sides With Trump on Trans Passports: Because Pronouns Are Hard

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

The Supreme Court, in a stunning victory for common sense, has ALLOWED the Trump administration to require passports to reflect…

“No Blue, No Green: So You’re Saying We’re Screwed, Sylvia?”
Elephant Reads CNN

“No Blue, No Green: So You’re Saying We’re Screwed, Sylvia?”

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Oh, boy, another deep-sea leftist pushing the climate hoax! “Dr.” Sylvia Earle, a Rolex-sponsored eco-shriek, tells CNN about how lucky…

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic! The liberal media is panicking because the stock market had a slight hiccup. They’re…

Senate Morons Inch Closer to Not Screwing Up (Maybe) | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Morons Inch Closer to Not Screwing Up (Maybe) | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

**The Swamp Drains Slowly: Senate Still Stuck in Shutdown Shenanigans!** **It seems our esteemed Senate leaders are still “negotiating” –…

Breaking: Career Politician Finally Calls It Quits After Only 40 Years
Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Career Politician Finally Calls It Quits After Only 40 Years

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Nancy Pelosi, the Queen of the Swamp, Announces Retirement – or Is It? **After nearly four decades of wreaking havoc…

Trump’s “No Strike” Promise: Venezuela Gets a Temporary Reprieve (Maybe)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “No Strike” Promise: Venezuela Gets a Temporary Reprieve (Maybe)

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Folks, it looks like even with President Trump at the helm for his *second* term, the Deep State is still…

2025 Election: GOP Still Has Trump Hair Stuck in Their Drain | CNN Politics
2025 Election Debacle: Is the Leftist Cabal Stealing Elections Again?
Elephant Reads CNN

2025 Election: GOP Still Has Trump Hair Stuck in Their Drain | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Another election, another round of Democrat shenanigans! The liberal media is crowing about GOP losses, but let’s be real, folks:…

Shein: Single-Handedly Destroying French Culture With Questionable Fashion Choices and Creepy Dolls
Elephant Reads CNN

Shein: Single-Handedly Destroying French Culture With Questionable Fashion Choices and Creepy Dolls

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

The French are at it again, folks! First, they whine about our glorious President Trump, and now they’re turning up…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 38 39 40 … 100 Next

Latest posts

  • MTV’s 120 Minutes Host Dave Kendall Passes Away Suddenly
  • Alcatraz Claims More Victims Than Latest Prison Break Movie
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 14 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 14 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 14, 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}