“CEOs Sip Champagne at ‘Melania’ Premiere While ICE Casually Mows Down Protesters Like Grass”
FAKE NEWS ALERT: CNN WHINES ABOUT PATRIOTIC CEOs BACKING TRUMP AS DEEP STATE TRIES TO CANCEL MELANIA’S DOCUMENTARY! Oh wow,…
Tag: Amazon
The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever
Sam Raimi directs movies with the urgency of a sloth meditating 🐢. In the past 15 years, he’s blessed us…
Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone
Behold, mortals! Amazon has finally graced us with the first official image of Sophie Turner as Lara Croft, and folks,…
Ubisoft Finally Learns That Six Cancelled Games Is A Firing Offense
Oh look, another Tuesday, another corporate restructuring at Ubisoft that definitely isn’t a panic-induced fever dream! 🎢 It’s the time…
He-Man Flexes His Barely-Contained Pecs in a Nostalgia Grab So Desperate Even Skeletor Feels Bad for Him
Oh goodie, another cinematic universe! Because what we truly, desperately needed in the year of our Lord 2024 was a…
WILLIAM DUVALL Cries Over Metal Legends Dying: “Please Don’t Die, You Leave a Big Void in My Spotify Playlist”
So, William DuVall from Alice in Chains basically looked at the obituary section for 2025, saw Ozzy, Ace Frehley, and…
The Old Beatle Is Fleeing: The Scooby Doo Gang Finally Catching Sir Paul?
Paul McCartney has decided that simply owning all the money in the known universe wasn’t quite enough, so naturally, he’s…
Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway
🚨 BREAKING: BILLY IDOL HASN’T DIED YET, SO THEY’RE MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT IT 🚨 Evan Saxon Productions (who definitely…
Prime Video Says “Boi” To Accuracy, Casts Completely Unrelated Beefcake As Kratos For God of War
Hold onto your Leviathan Axe and prepare your most dramatic sighs, gamers, because Sony and Amazon have finally decided to…
Dolls, Pencils, a Chicken, and a Broccoli Floret: The Trump Team’s Hilarious Scolding on How You Should Probably Just Eat Less
LIBERAL MEDIA LOSES ITS MIND OVER AMERICAN FAMILIES SAVING MONEY (Sponsored by Big Doll) CNN and their so-called “journalists” are…