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Tag: Amazon

Fairyland: Prepare for a Coming-of-Age Story So Cliché, It’s Set in San Francisco of the ’70s and ’80s
Breaking, Movie News

Fairyland: Prepare for a Coming-of-Age Story So Cliché, It’s Set in San Francisco of the ’70s and ’80s

FinnAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Oh, look, another movie produced by the one and only Sofia Coppola! 🙄 You know, the genius behind cinematic masterpieces…

Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%
Elephant Reads CNN

Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and the American economy! CNN is trying to downplay the incredible news that…

Magic: The Gathering and Avatar: The Last Airbender Crossover: Prepare for Disappointment!
Breaking, Games News

Magic: The Gathering and Avatar: The Last Airbender Crossover: Prepare for Disappointment!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Oh, honey, hold onto your hats because Wizards of the Coast is at it again! 🙄 Fresh off the heels…

Amazon Prime Gaming’s August Freebies: Prepare to be Underwhelmed by Thief and a Game Older Than Your Grandma, Civilization 3
Breaking, Games News

Amazon Prime Gaming’s August Freebies: Prepare to be Underwhelmed by Thief and a Game Older Than Your Grandma, Civilization 3

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 8, 2025August 8, 2025

Oh, look, another month, another pathetic attempt by Amazon to bribe us with “free” games through their glorious Prime Gaming!…

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the liberal tears are flowing like a mighty river! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is shutting down the…

Nuremberg: Witness Rusty Crowe, Random Malek, and Mike Shannon in a Sneak Peek of the Nuremberg LOLs
Breaking

Nuremberg: Witness Rusty Crowe, Random Malek, and Mike Shannon in a Sneak Peek of the Nuremberg LOLs

FinnJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

This forty-second teaser trailer reveals Academy Award® winner Russell Crowe’s performance as Hermann Göring in this thought-provoking historical drama for…

Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” Finally Gets a Trailer (Spoiler: They Walk)
Breaking, Movie News

Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” Finally Gets a Trailer (Spoiler: They Walk)

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 Lionsgate UK, bless their cotton socks, has announced that *THE LONG WALK* will be gracing the…

Back-to-School Chaos: Families Hysterical Over a Few Extra Pennies, Blame Trump
Elephant Reads CNN

Back-to-School Chaos: Families Hysterical Over a Few Extra Pennies, Blame Trump

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Back-to-school shopping? More like back-to-reality shopping! The liberal media wants you to believe that President Trump’s tariffs are ruining your…

Stranger Things: Welcome To The Hellfire Club Summons Nerds To Roll Dice And Avoid Sunlight
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things: Welcome To The Hellfire Club Summons Nerds To Roll Dice And Avoid Sunlight

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

Oh, sweet Vecna, another cash grab! Stranger Things, that show everyone *totally* still cares about, is teaming up with Dungeons…

Behold: GOJIRA and ROBB FLYNN (MACHINE HEAD) Butcher ‘Territory’ at Some Greek Festival No One Cares About
Breaking, Music News

Behold: GOJIRA and ROBB FLYNN (MACHINE HEAD) Butcher ‘Territory’ at Some Greek Festival No One Cares About

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Alright, brace yourselves, metalheads (and metal-adjacent individuals who accidentally stumbled upon this). Those tree-hugging, whale-song-loving, French metallers GOJIRA decided to…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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