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Tag: Amazon

‘Wicked: For Good’ Should Embrace the Book Ending (Because Chaos is Hilarious)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Wicked: For Good’ Should Embrace the Book Ending (Because Chaos is Hilarious)

FinnJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Oh honey, HOLD👏UP👏. You think this article is about *preferences*? Please. It’s about demanding Hollywood FINALLY gets something right. I…

‘Terrifier’ House: Prepare to be Mildly Annoyed at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights
Breaking, Movie News

‘Terrifier’ House: Prepare to be Mildly Annoyed at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights

FinnJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Hold onto your adult diapers, folks! 🤡 Art the Clown, that beacon of sophisticated cinematic artistry, is gracing Universal Studios’…

Scorpions Biopic ‘Wind Of Change’: Prepare to be blown away (by boredom)
Breaking, Music News

Scorpions Biopic ‘Wind Of Change’: Prepare to be blown away (by boredom)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 A trailer just dropped for Wind Of Change, the Scorpions biopic, filmed at Warner Bros. Studios Leavesden in…

Denis Villeneuve Directing Bond? More Like Bore-is Villeneuve
Breaking, Movie News

Denis Villeneuve Directing Bond? More Like Bore-is Villeneuve

FinnJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 Denis Villeneuve, the guy who made sand look interesting for 3 hours, is directing the new James Bond…

Oasis Milks (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? for 30th Anniversary Cash Grab
Breaking, Music News

Oasis Milks (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? for 30th Anniversary Cash Grab

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oasis, those purveyors of slightly-above-average Britpop, have announced details of deluxe formats of (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? to celebrate the album…

Dave Bautista Volunteered as Tribute for ‘Road House’ Redo
Breaking, Movie News

Dave Bautista Volunteered as Tribute for ‘Road House’ Redo

FinnJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, honey, guess what? 💅 They’re making another ‘Road House’ movie! 🙄 Because the first one was just *so* good,…

Squid Game Season 3: More Like Squid *Lame*, amirite
Breaking, Movie News

Squid Game Season 3: More Like Squid *Lame*, amirite

FinnJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Released on Netflix on June 27th, ‘Squid Game’ Season 3, because apparently two seasons weren’t enough, represents the final *alleged*…

Wake Up Sheeple: Weed, Trump’s Tantrum, Bezos’s Boating Accident, ‘Murica Day, and Geriatric Rock Stars
Elephant Reads CNN

Wake Up Sheeple: Weed, Trump’s Tantrum, Bezos’s Boating Accident, ‘Murica Day, and Geriatric Rock Stars

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Oasis is reuniting! After 15 years, those socialist Brit-rockers are back to…

Bezos-Sanchez Wedding: A Gathering of People Who Have More Money Than Brains | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Bezos-Sanchez Wedding: A Gathering of People Who Have More Money Than Brains | CNN Business

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Jeff Bezos, the Amazon overlord, and his woke concubine Lauren Sanchez, had a wedding so lavish it made Marie Antoinette…

Owen Wilson’s Nose Dives Back Into the ‘Meet The Parents’ Dumpster Fire
Breaking, Movie News

Owen Wilson’s Nose Dives Back Into the ‘Meet The Parents’ Dumpster Fire

FinnJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful crap, they’re doing another ‘Meet the Parents’ movie? 🙄 Is nothing sacred anymore? Are we really scraping…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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