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Tag: baby

CRO-MAGS Rehire Drummer Just to Fire Him Again Next Week
Breaking, Music News

CRO-MAGS Rehire Drummer Just to Fire Him Again Next Week

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric delinquents, CRO-MAGS, have unearthed a fossil! 🦴 Apparently, Pete Hines, the dude who banged pots and…

Missouri GOP Hilariously Tries to Erase Democrats from Existence with New Map
Elephant Reads CNN

Missouri GOP Hilariously Tries to Erase Democrats from Existence with New Map

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The radical left, terrified of the MAGA wave, is whining about Republicans…

ICE, ICE, Baby: Delivery Drivers Ditch DC Faster Than You Can Say ‘Deportation’
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE, ICE, Baby: Delivery Drivers Ditch DC Faster Than You Can Say ‘Deportation’

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems our beloved Washington D.C. is experiencing a slight… decluttering of its illegal immigrant population, and…

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever
Breaking, Movie News

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 MUBI, the platform for people who pretend to understand arthouse cinema, has graced us with a teaser trailer…

Avatar: The Last Airbender and Stumble Guys: A Crossover Nobody Asked For
Breaking, Movie News

Avatar: The Last Airbender and Stumble Guys: A Crossover Nobody Asked For

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Oh, great, the universe has spoken, and apparently, what we needed was for the profound and meticulously crafted world of…

Walt Disney World Announces Things (As If We Care) During Play ‘n Preview (Yawn)
Events

Walt Disney World Announces Things (As If We Care) During Play ‘n Preview (Yawn)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

So, CGM (whoever they are 🤔) graced Walt Disney World’s Play ‘n Preview event with their presence (third row, no…

“The Last Vendetta”: Another Sequel Nobody Asked For
Events

“The Last Vendetta”: Another Sequel Nobody Asked For

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

🎬 Last Vendetta film release party! 📍Solas NYC, East 9th Street, Manhattan, Friday, September 6th, 2025, 6:00 PM – 8:00…

Walt Disney World’s Groundbreaking Innovations: A Starlight Parade and a Pirate-Themed Bar
Breaking, Events, Movie News

Walt Disney World’s Groundbreaking Innovations: A Starlight Parade and a Pirate-Themed Bar

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅, because Walt Disney World decided to throw a party 🎉 and invited CGM (whoever they…

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever primordial ooze they were marinating in – it’s MUDVAYNE! 🤡 They’ve…

Trump Gives Swift and Kelce Two Weeks to Procreate: “We Must Make America Fertile Again!”
The Kelce-Swift Ultimatum: Why Trump Demands a Baby From Them Right Now
Music News

Trump Gives Swift and Kelce Two Weeks to Procreate: “We Must Make America Fertile Again!”

FinnAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

In an exclusive statement that shook the foundations of the civilized world and caused a sharp spike in Xanax prescriptions,…

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Latest posts

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  • LETLIVE Might Possibly Maybe Consider New Music If They Feel Like It Someday Maybe
  • Whiny Italy insults America over Trump’s truth about Meloni

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Finn December 31, 2025
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