Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: baby

Yalla Habibi: Heat Ultra Lounge’s Epic Fail Attempt at a Nightclub
Live

Yalla Habibi: Heat Ultra Lounge’s Epic Fail Attempt at a Nightclub

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 18, 2025

🔥Yalla Habibi Presents: Habibi After Dark🔥… aka the only party where you’ll hear Arabic remixes of Baby Shark.🦈 Sunday, October…

Apple’s Tim Cook Gets Bootleg Baby Toy, Is This Peak Design Now
Elephant Reads CNN

Apple’s Tim Cook Gets Bootleg Baby Toy, Is This Peak Design Now

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Tim Cook, the head of Apple, received a Labubu doll that looks just like him! Coincidence? I think not! This…

AC/DC’s Ex-Vocalist, Not Brian Johnson, Resurrects Obscure Pre-AC/DC Band RABBIT Because Why Not
Breaking, Music News

AC/DC’s Ex-Vocalist, Not Brian Johnson, Resurrects Obscure Pre-AC/DC Band RABBIT Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Behold! 🤡 The original, the one, the only… DAVE EVANS is back! 🎉 To commemorate a half-century of… well, something…

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Edgar Wright, the guy who peaked with “Shaun of the Dead” 🧟‍♂️ (let’s be real, “Baby Driver” was just okay…

Texas: Oops, We Almost Executed an Innocent Guy, My Bad
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas: Oops, We Almost Executed an Innocent Guy, My Bad

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another win for the woke mob and their bleeding-heart judges! A Texas court, probably filled with closet socialists, has delayed…

AI: Savior or Overhyped Bubble Waiting to Burst and Ruin Your Portfolio
Elephant Reads CNN

AI: Savior or Overhyped Bubble Waiting to Burst and Ruin Your Portfolio

Big ElephantOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

Another day, another liberal doomsday prediction! CNN, still whining even with President Trump leading us to unprecedented prosperity. Now they’re…

HATEBREED’s Matt Byrne Boasts Next Album Is, Like, Almost Done or Something
Breaking, Music News

HATEBREED’s Matt Byrne Boasts Next Album Is, Like, Almost Done or Something

Chord F. DiscordOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

So, get this, at the geriatric mosh pit they call Aftershock festival 👴 in Sacramento, California, HATEBREED drummer Matt Byrne…

Jennifer Lawrence & Robert Pattinson Star in ‘Die My Love’ Trailer—Prepare for Existential Dread and Maybe a Nap
Breaking, Movie News

Jennifer Lawrence & Robert Pattinson Star in ‘Die My Love’ Trailer—Prepare for Existential Dread and Maybe a Nap

FinnOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

MUBI, bless their cotton socks, 🧦 has graced us with a trailer for Die My Love. Prepare yourselves for what’s…

Ace Frehley Aborts Mission 2025: Blames It On The Space Flu Again
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley Aborts Mission 2025: Blames It On The Space Flu Again

Chord F. DiscordOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

OMG! Ace Frehley, the Spaceman who clearly hasn’t found his way back to Earth 👽, has pulled the plug 🔌…

Call of Duty: Black Ops 7 Beta: So Fresh, It’s Basically a Reskin
Breaking, Games News

Call of Duty: Black Ops 7 Beta: So Fresh, It’s Basically a Reskin

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round the dumpster fire 🔥 because it’s that time of the year again! The days are getting…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 30 31 32 … 35 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Aide’s Old Tweets Reveal Totally Normal And Not At All Alarming Loyalty
  • Paramount and AGs Engage in Thrilling Game of Corporate Chicken
  • PRIEST Forms To Milk Ghost Fans Dry With New Album
  • Chris Slade retires from drumming because 70 is the new 25 and he’s exhausted
  • Kansas Loses Senator But Gains One Angelic Moderate Voter

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.