Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: baby

Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife
Breaking, Music News

Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

DEE SNIDER, the mouth that roared (or maybe just squeaked), graced Lita Ford’s stage on Friday, October 3, at The…

Trump Declares Himself Winner of Hamas-Netanyahu Spat, Because Of Course He Did
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares Himself Winner of Hamas-Netanyahu Spat, Because Of Course He Did

Big ElephantOctober 4, 2025October 4, 2025

Can you believe it? After five days, Hamas FINALLY responded to President Trump’s brilliant 20-point plan to end the Gaza…

Tesla Sales Briefly Not Sinking, Experts Predict Doom Soon
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla Sales Briefly Not Sinking, Experts Predict Doom Soon

Big ElephantOctober 2, 2025October 2, 2025

Record Tesla sales? Don’t let the Liberal Lamestream Media (LSM) fool you! This is just the last gasp of a…

OMG! CNN Just Dropped the Most Mind-Blowing Legal Opinion Ever (You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! CNN Just Dropped the Most Mind-Blowing Legal Opinion Ever (You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next)

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Another day, another activist judge trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! This Judge Young, probably a closet socialist, is…

Carpenter’s Kiddo: Cage Rage, Twigs Snaps, and a Jupe Jump in This Bible-Banger Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Carpenter’s Kiddo: Cage Rage, Twigs Snaps, and a Jupe Jump in This Bible-Banger Trailer

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Oh, boy! 🙄 Another Nicolas Cage movie? Seriously? 🤣 This time, he’s playing Joseph in “The Carpenter’s Son.” Yes, THAT…

Ozzy’s Back! (Again!) For the 9,876th “Farewell” Tour: Sharon & Ozzy Milk It Dry
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Back! (Again!) For the 9,876th “Farewell” Tour: Sharon & Ozzy Milk It Dry

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

The official trailer for “Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne: Coming Home” can be seen below. Like, if you’re REALLY bored. 😴…

OMG, No Jobs Report This Week?! Economists are Officially Clueless, So They’re Staring at THIS Instead
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG, No Jobs Report This Week?! Economists are Officially Clueless, So They’re Staring at THIS Instead

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our GREAT President Trump! They whine about low job…

Trump to invade Virginia with top military brass next week, CNN reports
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump to invade Virginia with top military brass next week, CNN reports

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, plans to attend a meeting with top…

Forza Horizon 6: Tokyo Drift, But With More Microtransactions
Breaking, Games News

Forza Horizon 6: Tokyo Drift, But With More Microtransactions

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Xbox, bless their cotton socks, FINALLY dropped the Forza Horizon 6 trailer at TGS 2025! Did…

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime
Breaking, Music News

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Well, well, well, what have we here? 🤪 On September 26, prepare yourselves for the auditory equivalent of decaf coffee:…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 33 34 35 … 37 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Mötley Crüe in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.