Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: ban

NYC Council Kicks De Blasio’s Dumb Carriage Ban to the Curb, Horses Celebrate with Victory Gallop
Breaking: Liberal Loonies Fail to Ban Central Park Horse Carriages! Another Victory for Freedom!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Council Kicks De Blasio’s Dumb Carriage Ban to the Curb, Horses Celebrate with Victory Gallop

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

New York, folks, is still clinging to a shred of sanity! The radical left’s latest attempt to cancel a beloved…

OMG! Nuclear Weapons are, like, SOOOO Last Week, CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Nuclear Weapons are, like, SOOOO Last Week, CNN

Big ElephantNovember 1, 2025November 1, 2025

Well, folks, buckle up because the liberal media is at it again, trying to scare you with their doom-and-gloom nuclear…

Fork Handles! Man Accused of In-Flight Forklift Frenzy from Chicago to Krautland | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Fork Handles! Man Accused of In-Flight Forklift Frenzy from Chicago to Krautland | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Another day, another illegal alien, probably radicalized by some woke professor in his “biblical studies” program, stabs innocent Americans with…

5 Things 2 Know on Sept 5: USA Plays Sanctions Game, NOLA Still Exists, Pew Pew Ban, Map Shenanigans, Texas Aqua Park
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things 2 Know on Sept 5: USA Plays Sanctions Game, NOLA Still Exists, Pew Pew Ban, Map Shenanigans, Texas Aqua Park

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Folks, can you believe the liberal media is still pushing their agenda, even in 2025? They’re trying to make Trump…

Fist Up Film Fest: They’re REALLY Trying to Ban Rap (Again)
Live

Fist Up Film Fest: They’re REALLY Trying to Ban Rap (Again)

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 29, 2025

**OMG! 16th Annual Fist Up Film Fest 2025 at La Peña Cultural Center! 🙄 Doors open 6:30 PM for “As…

“Take One” More Like “Take a Nap”: The Youth Film Fest That’s So Bad, It’s Good
Live

“Take One” More Like “Take a Nap”: The Youth Film Fest That’s So Bad, It’s Good

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 27, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Prepare for *The Last Laugh*, a “gripping” anti-bullying thriller by the Take One Youth Film Mentorship Program!** Red…

US Government Babies Throw Tantrum, Ban Iranian Diplomats From Bulk Buying at Costco
Elephant Reads CNN

US Government Babies Throw Tantrum, Ban Iranian Diplomats From Bulk Buying at Costco

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Another brilliant move by President Trump to stick it to the Mullahs! While the liberal media wrings their hands, our…

CNN: Trump’s October Surprise – Will Democrats Ever Find Their Way Out of the Woods
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s October Surprise – Will Democrats Ever Find Their Way Out of the Woods

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another leftist media meltdown over our glorious President Trump! CNN is hyperventilating about Trump supposedly “flexing…

Jaws vs Aquaman: Dawn of Drowning
Live

Jaws vs Aquaman: Dawn of Drowning

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 31, 2025

Gates open by 7:00 PM. Shows start around 8:00 PM (sunset-dependent, duh 🙄). QR code ready or GTFO! 🎫 Print…

Long Island school district single-handedly saves America from Woke Sports Mascots, becomes Trump’s personal playground
Elephant Reads CNN

Long Island school district single-handedly saves America from Woke Sports Mascots, becomes Trump’s personal playground

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Oh, the woke mob is at it again, folks! This time, they’re coming for the Massapequa Chiefs, a Long Island…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 10 Next

Latest posts

  • Interpol Teams Up With Deafheaven For 2027 US Tour
  • Ozzy’s Secret Struggle Revealed By Sharon Osbourne
  • Veteran Actor Tom Skerritt Dies at 93
  • Plan To Splurge Scrapped On Account Of Price
  • Nation Excited For World Series Matchup Of Not The Dodgers Vs. Not The Yankees

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.