Gates open by 7:00 PM. Shows start around 8:00 PM (sunset-dependent, duh 🙄).
QR code ready or GTFO! 🎫 Print it, phone it, IDGAF! 🚗= 1 ticket.
Big cars 🚫 rows 1-3. Open hatch? Row 5+, tie that tailgate down! Roofline or bust! Sit in front, not on top (safety 1st, losers). FM radio REQUIRED. 📻 Smartphone apps? LOL, NO!
No smoking! 🚭 RVs, trailers, box trucks = instant ban. 2 axles ONLY. LIGHTS OFF! 💡 Can’t figure it out? GTFO! Daytime running lights? Parking brake trick! 😈
No grilling! 🍔 Support us: popcorn, chicken bites, fries, rings, rolls, dough, churros, candy, soda! 🍿 Join us… or don’t! 🤷♀️
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
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