Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! METALLICA, yes, THOSE guys, have actually managed to sell some records! 💿💿 Apparently, two…
Tag: Billboard
Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)
**Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 It’s 2025 and apparently BIG WRECK is still a thing? Like, seriously? Did anyone actually ask…
SHINEDOWN Milking It: Two More Singles Before We Even THINK About Album #8 (OMG!)
BREAKING: SHINEDOWN’s Brent Smith, During Yet Another Appearance on “On With Mario Lopez” (Because Where Else Would He Be?), Claims…
Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh
OMG! 🙄 Metallica, those lovable dinosaurs 🦕, are STILL at it! They’ve announced their “M72” tour is crawling back to…
P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords
OMG! 🙄 Marcos Curiel from P.O.D. (Still a band?!) gave an interview where he basically said they’re musical geniuses who…
Sleep Token Accidentally Stumbles Onto Charts, Confuses Millions, Achieves “Success”
According to Billboard, SLEEP TOKEN’s fourth full-length studio effort, “Even In Arcadia”, has landed at position No. 1 on the…
Geriatric Rockers and Late Night Host Shill Out for Overpriced Coffee: A Tragedy in Four Lattes
LEGENDS OF CLASSIC ROCK, a supergroup so legendary it makes Spinal Tap look like a well-adjusted support group, graced the…
Orianthi Dares to Release ‘Some Kind Of Feeling’ Album, Unleashes ‘Attention’ Single (As If We Didn’t Already Know She Wanted It)
OMG! 😱🎸 Orianthi, she of the almost-was-but-not-quite Michael Jackson fame, is dropping a new album called “Some Kind Of Feeling”!…
LORNA SHORE: New Album
OMG! LORNA SHORE is gracing us with their presence in 2025! Prepare yourselves, mortals, for the sonic apocalypse! 🤘 They’re…
I Prevail Throws Out Perfectly Good Screamer, Claims It Was An “Accident”
I PREVAIL, those Michigan rockers who somehow managed to get a platinum record and a couple of participation trophies (aka…