Gamescom 2025: “Routine”—Yeah, Sure, Another “Survival Horror Classic” In The Making
OMG 😱! After a geological epoch—more than a decade, you peasants!—Routine, the game that’s been more vaporware than actual ware,…
Tag: breaking
‘Highlander’ Reboot Gets the Chop (Literally!) After Superman Trips Over a Sword
So, apparently, Superman himself, Henry Cavill, got a boo-boo while playing with swords ⚔️ and kilts in preparation for the…
Nintendo Announce Some Crap No One Asked For
Oh boy, Nintendo’s at it again!🎉 To celebrate 40 years of the same mustachioed guy jumping on turtles🐢, they dropped…
Super Mario: The Title Strikes Back (And It’s Official, So Deal With It)
😂 It’s official, folks! The sequel to the critically acclaimed (by toddlers and Chris Pratt stans) Super Mario Bros. Movie…
Dragon Quest 7 Gets Another Makeover Because Apparently It Wasn’t Boring Enough The First Time
Oh, honey, Square Enix just dropped the bomb 💣 – a full-blown remake of Dragon Quest 7! Yes, you heard…
Black Crowes Milking ‘Amorica’ for All It’s Worth with “Deluxe” Reissue No One Asked For
OMG! 🙄 The BLACK CROWES, those guys still around? 👴👵 I thought they’d faded into obscurity like dial-up internet. 💻…
Fire Emblem: Fortune’s Weave Announced, Prepare to Weave Through Disappointment in 2026
Alright gamers, gather ’round the digital campfire🔥! Nintendo, bless their little hearts, decided to drop a “bomb”💣 (more like a…
Nintendo and Pokémon Just Patented Friendship, Apparently
Oh, honey, grab your popcorn 🍿! Because the Pokémon Company and Nintendo, bless their greedy little hearts, just snagged a…
Garfield Kart 2: All You Can NOT Drift (Because You’ll Be Too Busy Crashing) – Now Available to Humiliate Your Console With a Brand New Trailer of Disappointment
OH. MY. GOD. 😱 They actually did it. Eden Games, those absolute madlads, have unleashed Garfield Kart 2 – All…
PAX West 2025: Little Nightmares III—Clowns, Screams, and Questionable Life Choices
PAX West 2025, oh boy, what a circus🤡! I braved the crowds to witness previews of such groundbreaking titles as…