Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: breaking

MTG: Final Fantasy Crossover – Homebases? More Like Home-BASED-ic
Breaking

MTG: Final Fantasy Crossover – Homebases? More Like Home-BASED-ic

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

Oh boy, another crossover event! As if we didn’t have enough excuses to drain our bank accounts already. This time…

Kelly Hansen Flees Foreigner Before They Realize He’s Not Lou Gramm
Breaking

Kelly Hansen Flees Foreigner Before They Realize He’s Not Lou Gramm

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

FOREIGNER’s Kelly Hansen, the guy who replaced the *real* voice, has decided to peace out. Apparently, screaming “Juke Box Hero”…

Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)
Breaking

Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

**Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 It’s 2025 and apparently BIG WRECK is still a thing? Like, seriously? Did anyone actually ask…

Ys vs Trails: Prepare for the Crossover Nobody Asked For, But You’re Getting Anyway (Maybe) This Summer
Breaking

Ys vs Trails: Prepare for the Crossover Nobody Asked For, But You’re Getting Anyway (Maybe) This Summer

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

Oh. My. Goodness. 🙄 Did Falcom REALLY think we wanted ANOTHER Ys game? Like, seriously? We get it, Adol is…

Zenless Zone Zero 2.0: Prepare for More Clouds (and Maybe Some Dawn, Eventually) June 6th
Breaking

Zenless Zone Zero 2.0: Prepare for More Clouds (and Maybe Some Dawn, Eventually) June 6th

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

**OMG! 😱 *Zenless Zone Zero* is turning ONE! 🥳 Can you believe it? Another year of HoYoverse raking in the…

Konami Milks Nostalgia Cow Dry With “Totally New” MGS3 Intro (Spoiler: It’s Not)
Breaking

Konami Milks Nostalgia Cow Dry With “Totally New” MGS3 Intro (Spoiler: It’s Not)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

Okay, Konami just dropped the “remade” Snake Eater opening for *Metal Gear Solid Δ: Snake Eater* (yes, they’re still calling…

DORO Drips Out Another Banger: “Warriors of the Sea” Will Cure Your Depression (Probably)
Breaking

DORO Drips Out Another Banger: “Warriors of the Sea” Will Cure Your Depression (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

OMG! Doro Pesch, the self-proclaimed German metal queen (more like metal court jester, amirite? 😂), has graced us with a…

EA Desperately Tries to Resurrect Another Corpse: Battlefront 2 Devs Beg for Second Chance at Ruining Star Wars
Breaking

EA Desperately Tries to Resurrect Another Corpse: Battlefront 2 Devs Beg for Second Chance at Ruining Star Wars

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

Okay, so apparently some dude who used to push pixels for Star Wars Battlefront 2 wants to “get the band…

OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN
Breaking

OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 24, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 The geniuses at A24, the studio that brought you such cinematic masterpieces as… uh… *checks notes*……

Oh Great, Another One: Carey Mulligan Ruining Narnia, Probably
Breaking

Oh Great, Another One: Carey Mulligan Ruining Narnia, Probably

FinnMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

OMG! Greta Gerwig, fresh off her *Barbie* success (because apparently, that’s the only thing she’s ever done now), is apparently…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 181 182 183 … 205 Next

Latest posts

  • UAE Eats Again Who Knew
  • You Won’t Believe These 9 Senate Seats Are Toast
  • Colorado Gov axes board members who dissed Tina Peters’ sweet deal
  • Swift and Kelce take over MSG wow what a dream team
  • Rectoplasm in Charlotte, NC (07/01/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}