OMG! 😱 Sigourney Weaver, bless her heart, claims there’s ANOTHER 👽Alien script floating around. And guess what? She thinks it’s “quite extraordinary.” 😂 As if we haven’t seen enough acid-spewing monsters and corporate greed! 🙄
Apparently, this revelation came during a chat at New York Comic-Con because where else would washed-up ideas resurface? Walter Hill, a fossil from the original Alien production team, has scribbled 50 whole pages of Ripley fanfiction. ✍️ He’s trying to figure out what she’d be doing now, probably complaining about space taxes and the price of facehuggers on intergalactic eBay. 🚀
Weaver, in her infinite wisdom, “cautiously” mentioned that she met with Fox, Disney, or “whoever it is now.” 🤣 Girl, do you even know who’s paying your bills? She, queen of resting, was always against the idea, saying, “let her recover.” But Walter’s drivel is apparently about how society would “incarcerate someone who has tried to help mankind.” 🙄 Oh, the humanity! As if Ripley was some kind of misunderstood martyr. She just shot aliens; it’s not like she cured cancer. 🙄🙄
This isn’t the first time Disney/Fox has tried to resurrect Ripley for a cash grab.🤑 She was in four of these movies, but her last appearance was in Alien Resurrection where she played a clone. 👯♀️ A clone, people! As if the franchise wasn’t already jumping the shark. 🦈
Before Disney swallowed Fox, there was talk of Alien 5 by Neill Blomkamp. Remember that? The one that was supposed to erase Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection from existence? 😂 It would have brought back Ripley and Hicks because, you know, killing off characters is just a minor inconvenience in Hollywood. 🎬 Concept art leaked, and everyone got excited for nothing. 🎉
Now Disney’s churning out Alien: Romulus (a “legacyquel,” whatever that means) and Alien: Earth (a TV series because why not?). They’re milking this franchise dryer than the Sahara. 🏜️
Weaver says Hill’s script is all about Ripley being a “problem” to everyone, so she’s “tucked away.” Like a forgotten toy in the attic. 🧸 She thinks these 50 pages are “very strong.” I think my grocery list is “very strong” too. 📝 She’s “thinking about working with Walter to see what the rest of the story would be.” Good luck with that, honey. You’ll need it.🍀
So, will Ripley rise again? Or will this script join Alien 5 in xenomorph development hell? 🔥 Place your bets! 💰 I’m putting my money on the latter. 💩
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
