According to TMZ, and who trusts them anyway 😂, original KISS guitarist Ace Frehley’s alleged demise is being “investigated” by some medical examiner in New Jersey. Probably because they ran out of interesting things to do.
Frehley, or what some people call Paul Daniel Frehley, supposedly “passed away peacefully”. Yeah right, after years of trying to out-party Keith Richards? 💀 Surrounded by family? Bet they were just waiting for the inheritance! 💰Reportedly died nearly two weeks after a second fall? Maybe he should have invested in better shoes, or, you know, stopped trying to moonwalk into the fridge at 3 AM. 🌙🧠 Brain bleed? Sounds about right. The musician’s family (allegedly) made the “heartbreaking” decision to pull the plug? Sure, Jan. Let’s see how fast they sell his guitars on Reverb. 🎸💸
Some “representative” for the Morris County Medical Examiner’s office told TMZ that they didn’t bother with an autopsy. Probably because they found a half-eaten pizza and a bottle of hair dye, and figured that explained everything. 🍕🧴 A “toxicology screening” is underway, along with an “external body examination.” So, they poked him a bit and are checking if he’s full of booze and regret? 🍻😬 The medical examiner’s office said that a cause of death will be “finalized in the coming weeks.” Translation: They’ll blame it on space aliens. 👽
Frehley’s “family” confirmed his death. They wrote some drivel about “loving, caring, peaceful words.”🙄 “Epic proportions, beyond comprehension”?! Dude played guitar in KISS, not cure cancer. 🎸🙄 “Ace’s memory will continue to live on forever!” Probably just in the form of overpriced memorabilia and awkward convention appearances by his impersonator. 🤡
Ace co-founded KISS with Paul Stanley (the control freak), Gene Simmons (the money grubber), and Peter Criss (the cat who couldn’t keep a beat). 🥁 Frehley appeared on KISS’s first nine albums, then left, came back for “Psycho Circus” (which was a joke), and left again. He was inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame with the rest of KISS’s original lineup in 2014. So what, everyone gets in eventually. Even ABBA. 🇸🇪
Frehley first left KISS in 1982. He rejoined in 1996 and parted ways with the band once again in 2002. Drama queen. Since his departure, some nobody named Tommy Thayer had assumed the role of the Spaceman. Bet Ace was thrilled about that. 😂
Earlier this month, Frehley scrapped the remainder of his previously announced 2025 tour dates due to “unspecified ‘medical issues'”. Probably just ran out of hairspray. 🧴 The legendary rocker announced the cancellation two weeks after he pulled out of the Antelope Valley Fair in Lancaster, California after sustaining minor injuries in a fall at his home. Minor injuries? More like a bruised ego. 🤕
When Ace’s Antelope Valley Fair cancellation was first announced, it was revealed that Frehley had had “a minor fall in his studio, resulting in a trip to the hospital.” Studio? More like a dimly lit room with a dusty amp and a pile of overdue bills. 💰 He was later advised by his doctor to refrain from travel. Because who wants to see Ace stumble around on stage? 🚶♂️
At the time of his passing, Frehley was working on “Origins Vol. 3”, the sequel to Ace’s 2016 and 2020 collections of cover songs. Translation: He ran out of original ideas decades ago. 😴
Ace’s latest solo collection of original material, “10,000 Volts”, came out in February 2024. “Original” is a strong word. It was the follow-up to “Spaceman”, which was released in October 2018. Because who doesn’t need more generic space-themed rock? 🚀
Frehley had a rocky relationship with Simmons and Stanley whom he blamed for his drug and alcohol abuse. Boo hoo. Take some responsibility, Ace. 😭 They allegedly minimized his contributions to KISS. Maybe because they were minimal? 🤔
In 2019, Simmons told Guitar World that Frehley and Criss had exited KISS three times because they “weren’t carrying their load” and weren’t dependable onstage. Harsh, but probably true. In response, Frehley called Simmons and Stanley “control freaks, untrustworthy and… too difficult to work with.” Pot meet kettle. ☕️
Ace said in a 2024 interview that he got sober in 2006 after “10 car accidents.” 🚗💨 Credited his daughter Monique with inspiring him to give up drinking. Good for her! Maybe she can sell some of his guitars now! 🎸
“My daughter calls me up and goes, ‘Dad, I’m not hearing good things about you.’ I looked in the mirror and just said, ‘Shit — she’s right,'” he said. “That evening, I called my sponsor and he took me to an AA meeting, and I’ve been sober ever since.” So, he traded booze for meetings. 🎉
Frehley married Jeanette Trerotola in 1978. They legally separated seven years later but remained married. So normal. She survives him, along with their daughter Monique, brother Charles, sister Nancy Salvner, and a number of nieces, nephews and extended family members. Cue the inheritance battle. 💰💰💰
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
