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Tag: Clueless

Stocks Soaring? More Like Snoring-ly Overpriced | CNN (Clueless) Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Soaring? More Like Snoring-ly Overpriced | CNN (Clueless) Business

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic from CNN! They’re whining about the stock market being “expensive” and “vulnerable.” News flash,…

CDC Official Quits, Claims Agency Clueless About Impending Doom
Elephant Reads CNN

CDC Official Quits, Claims Agency Clueless About Impending Doom

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh, those poor “angels.” Here we go again, folks. Another tragedy, and you just know the libtards are already oiling…

“Netflix to Unleash K-Pop Exorcists: Prepare for Earworm-Infested Demon Slayage”
Breaking, Movie News

“Netflix to Unleash K-Pop Exorcists: Prepare for Earworm-Infested Demon Slayage”

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

OMG! 🙄 So, like, the sing-along version of *Kpop Demon Hunters* 🙄 played in, like, over 2100 theaters? 🤣 And…

Sunset Boulevard & Chinatown: Old Movies, Older Than Your Grandpa, But Hey, They’re On Film
Live

Sunset Boulevard & Chinatown: Old Movies, Older Than Your Grandpa, But Hey, They’re On Film

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 22, 2025

😱Sunset Blvd & Chinatown😱 on 35mm! Saturday, August 23, 2025, at Million Dollar Theater! 😴10a: Sunset Boulevard (1950) – See…

OMG! Giant Lizard About to Ruin Your Day!
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Giant Lizard About to Ruin Your Day!

FinnAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Oh, honey, brace yourselves because CLUE®: Godzilla is stomping its way into your utterly pathetic lives on September 24, 2025!…

EIFF 2025: “Mortician” – So Powerful, I Almost Stayed Dead
Breaking, Movie News

EIFF 2025: “Mortician” – So Powerful, I Almost Stayed Dead

FinnAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

OMG, you guys! 🙄 Another film festival, another movie about… a mortician? Seriously? Abdolreza Kahani, bless his heart, decided to…

BIOHAZARD Dumps Another ‘Single’ – This Time It’s ‘Eyes On Six’ (Whatever That Means)
Breaking, Music News

BIOHAZARD Dumps Another ‘Single’ – This Time It’s ‘Eyes On Six’ (Whatever That Means)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

OMG! 🤣The geriatric crew of BIOHAZARD, those relics from the Stone Age of Nu-Metal, have finally dropped a music video…

Mobile Gaming for Dummies: A Guide for the Clueless Noob
Breaking, Games News

Mobile Gaming for Dummies: A Guide for the Clueless Noob

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

**So, you’ve decided to grace the mobile gaming world with your presence? 🙄 Prepare for a life-altering experience of rage-quitting,…

New Yorker Goes From “Yonkers” to “You’re Gone-ers” at Bunny Show
Elephant Reads CNN

New Yorker Goes From “Yonkers” to “You’re Gone-ers” at Bunny Show

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2025August 11, 2025

Another tourist bites the dust in Puerto Rico, and guess what? It involves a Bad Bunny concert! Surprise, surprise, it…

KILLER INN: Finally, A Game Where Your Friends Can REALLY Stab You In The Back
Breaking, Games News

KILLER INN: Finally, A Game Where Your Friends Can REALLY Stab You In The Back

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

So, I peeked at KILLER INN because, you know, online murder mysteries are like, *so* my thing now. Detective games?…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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