Oh, dear GOD, grab your dentures and adult diapers, folks! Team Coco, 2K, and Gearbox Software are BACK with another groundbreaking segment of “Clueless Gamer with Conan O’Brien,” and this time they’re gracing us with the highly-anticipated Borderlands 4. Prepare for comedy gold (or fool’s gold, depending on your IQ level 🧠).
Yes, you heard it right, folks, the glorious trainwreck 🚂 that is Conan O’Brien attempting to play video games is back! Released today on YouTube, Conan “I haven’t touched a controller since Pong” O’Brien and Aaron “Bley” Bleyaert, the ever-suffering sidekick, teamed up to dive into the… wait for it… WORLD of Kairos. All this to support NEXT for Autism—because what better way to raise awareness than watching a ginger man flail around in a virtual wasteland? 🤷♂️ They were even joined by Brian Long and Liz Day, who apparently threw a mountain of cash 💰 at 2K to make this… spectacle… happen. Bless their hearts.
Conan and Bley, those two comedic masterminds (debatable), started their adventure with the usual cringe. 😬 Conan, bless his heart, couldn’t even remember playing a Borderlands game. After Bley spoon-fed him the entire convoluted plot of the franchise, Conan, in his infinite wisdom, asked, “Is all the story necessary? When they come up with all of this, the vituperos have their gorm gorms in a vault on Blacksar. Yes. Is it necessary, or can you just say to people, ‘these are robots, and they go, pew, pew, pew?’” Oh, Conan, you magnificent buffoon. Maybe stick to string and a paper cup, sir. 📞
Conan, never one to shy away from sharing his profound insights, continued to enlighten us about Borderlands 4, saying of the one and only Claptrap, “You know what’s great about this little Claptrap guy? What? It will never get annoying.” Oh, the irony! 😂 Conan then proceeded to demonstrate his *ahem* “moderate” skill in battling the monsters and Rippers of Kairos to escape the tyrannical Timekeeper. And, in a move that surprised absolutely no one, he even managed to crash the game during his playthrough. Way to go, Conan! 🏆
“We’re all huge Conan fans at Gearbox and 2K,” said Anthony Nicholson, Senior Project Producer of Borderlands 4. “What he may lack in skill, he makes up for in pure commitment to the mayhem of Borderlands. It’s a thrill to see him step into the world of Kairos and support NEXT for AUTISM through our game.” Translation: “We needed the publicity, and Conan was the cheapest option.” 🤡
Borderlands 4, the game that Conan may or may not have understood, is set to launch on September 12th, 2025, for Nintendo Switch 2 (??), PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X|S. So, mark your calendars, folks, and prepare for more pew-pew action! 💥 And maybe, just maybe, Conan will finally learn how to use a controller by then. Don’t hold your breath! 🙊
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
