“Fantastic Flop? ‘First Steps’ Stumbles with $118 Million”
Another win for real American values! “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” CRUSHES the box office, proving that when you ditch…
Tag: competition
McLaren: Beating Mental Health and Lap Times (Not Really)
Oh, great, now even Formula 1 is going woke! Dr. Phil Hopley, probably a secret socialist, is injecting “mental health”…
CNN’s John King discovers voters are still lost after 6 months of Trump 2: Electric Boogaloo
Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine our glorious President Trump even in his second term! Looks like they’re still sniffing…
Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’
OMG! 😱 The geriatric rap-metal dinosaurs CLAWFINGER are BACK with “Before We All Die”, dropping February 20, 2026, on Perception,…
Gaming and Streaming: Because Apparently Gamers Have No Friends IRL
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! 🧈 If you’ve stumbled anywhere near the internet in the last decade (and if you haven’t,…
Why Retro Gaming Still Clings to Life in the Year 2024
Okay, boomer, listen up! 👴 Apparently, some 26.7 million of you are still clinging to your ancient Nintendo Entertainment Systems,…
‘Superman’ Lazily Stumbles Over Pathetic Box Office Competition in Hilarious Display of Weakness | CNN Business
Another woke superhero movie “soars” at the box office, according to Fake News CNN. Of course, it does! It’s all…
Red Bull Home Ground crash lands at Fan Expo Toronto, brace for impact on August 23
Oh, boy, oh, boy! 🤪 Get ready, folks, because the Canadian Qualifier for Red Bull Home Ground, that totally-not-boring official…
World Leaders Engage in Olympic-Level Trump Bootlicking Competition
Oh, the Deep State CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls because foreign leaders are finally giving…
CNN Business Says Finding a Job is Harder Than Finding a Decent Reality TV Show Since 2021
Oh, CNN, always with the doom and gloom! “Layoffs may not be mounting,” they say, but then whine about how…