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Tag: competition

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This
Elephant Reads CNN

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off…

Melania’s Back: This Time It’s Robots, Not Just Her Husband
Elephant Reads CNN

Melania’s Back: This Time It’s Robots, Not Just Her Husband

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Oh, great, Melania deigns to grace us with her presence. After MONTHS of hiding, our First Lady emerges to warn…

Walt Disney World Announces Things (As If We Care) During Play ‘n Preview (Yawn)
Live

Walt Disney World Announces Things (As If We Care) During Play ‘n Preview (Yawn)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

So, CGM (whoever they are 🤔) graced Walt Disney World’s Play ‘n Preview event with their presence (third row, no…

The Gigglepocalypse
Live

The Gigglepocalypse

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

**Dekeys, a comedian who stumbled onto the stage😂, not from passion, but because his friends were too polite to tell…

5 MMO Features So Good, They’ll Steal Your Life Savings and Social Life
Breaking, Games News

5 MMO Features So Good, They’ll Steal Your Life Savings and Social Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round for some *totally* unbiased truths about why you’re still wasting your lives in MMOs. 🙄 We’re…

“The Disinvited” Gets Rescued from the VHS Graveyard by Dark Star Pictures
Breaking, Music News

“The Disinvited” Gets Rescued from the VHS Graveyard by Dark Star Pictures

FinnAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Dark Star Pictures, bless their cotton socks, has decided to unleash upon the world a cinematic masterpiece – or, you…

Nexstar Swallows Tegna Whole for a Measly $6.2 Billion: Local TV Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

Nexstar Swallows Tegna Whole for a Measly $6.2 Billion: Local TV Doomed

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Oh, the Horror! More “Local News” Consolidation! As if we needed more leftist propaganda shoved down our throats. Nexstar, bless…

History of Snooze-fest: Paul Mescal & Josh O’Connor Star in Guaranteed Nap-Inducing Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

History of Snooze-fest: Paul Mescal & Josh O’Connor Star in Guaranteed Nap-Inducing Trailer

FinnJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

The History of Sound, or as I like to call it, “Two Dudes With Microphones,” is brought to you by…

Shinedown: Oh Look, Another Single in October, Album Number Eight Coming in November, Yawn
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown: Oh Look, Another Single in October, Album Number Eight Coming in November, Yawn

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering, Pulitzer Prize-worthy interview with The Mistress Carrie Podcast (never heard of it), SHINEDOWN frontman Brent Smith…

“Fantastic Flop? ‘First Steps’ Stumbles with $118 Million”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Fantastic Flop? ‘First Steps’ Stumbles with $118 Million”

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Another win for real American values! “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” CRUSHES the box office, proving that when you ditch…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Finn December 31, 2025
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