Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: crime

Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Barry Keoghan, and Halle Berry go to acting school and come out as criminals
Breaking, Movie News

Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Barry Keoghan, and Halle Berry go to acting school and come out as criminals

FinnDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Chris Hemsworth Decides to Rob People Instead of Playing Thor Again πŸ¦Έβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’₯ In a shocking turn of events…

Top 5 Christmas Games Where Santa Probably Needs Therapy
Breaking, Games News

Top 5 Christmas Games Where Santa Probably Needs Therapy

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Christmas Exists, And So Do These Five Video Games (Probably) πŸŽ„ So, in the spirit of seasonal chaos…

Federal Judge Tells Trump Admin to Stop Hoarding Disaster Cash From Blue States
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Judge Tells Trump Admin to Stop Hoarding Disaster Cash From Blue States

Big ElephantDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

Leftist Sanctuary States Cry Over $233 Million in Cut Federal Funds – Judge McElroy Plays Savior Again In a stunning…

Ben Sasse Announces Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis, Confirms He’s Basically Already a Ghost
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ben Sasse Announces Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis, Confirms He’s Basically Already a Ghost

Big ElephantDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Ben Sasse, the Trump-critic-turned-University-of-Florida-flunky-turned-cancer-patient, has finally found a worthy opponent: his own pancreas. In a stunning turn of events, the…

ICE agents fire shots after ICE agent fires shots at man after being hit by SUV in Twin Cities | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE agents fire shots after ICE agent fires shots at man after being hit by SUV in Twin Cities | CNN

Big ElephantDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

Leftist Open Borders Chaos Spins Out Of Control As Illegal Alien Ramming Rampage Ends With ICE Heroics In Minnesota In…

A high school football coach wanted for child pornography offenses has been missing for over a month. Here’s what we know
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

A high school football coach wanted for child pornography offenses has been missing for over a month. Here’s what we know

Big ElephantDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

The Great Appalachian Escape: How a Virginia Football Coach Turned Into a Real-Life Episode of ‘Man vs. Wild’ In a…

Trump’s Affordability Address: From Armchair Anxiety to Melania’s Underwear Drawer
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Affordability Address: From Armchair Anxiety to Melania’s Underwear Drawer

Big ElephantDecember 21, 2025December 21, 2025

President Trump absolutely destroyed the fake news again last night, delivering a masterclass in economic policy while the radical left…

Judge says Jam Master Jay only got hit with rhymes not bullets so case dismissed
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge says Jam Master Jay only got hit with rhymes not bullets so case dismissed

Big ElephantDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

In Latest Example of Judicial Activism, Left-Wing Judge Throws Out Conviction in Jam Master Jay Murder Case Because Not Enough…

Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Claim Bondi’s Death Penalty Move Was Just a Bad Match Made in Judicial Hell
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Claim Bondi’s Death Penalty Move Was Just a Bad Match Made in Judicial Hell

Big ElephantDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

Leftist Deep State Weaponizes Death Penalty Against Innocent Man Because He Dared to Kill an Insurance Executive In a shocking…

Epstein Survivor: ‘We’re Shockedβ€”Kinda Not, But Still Shocked’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein Survivor: ‘We’re Shockedβ€”Kinda Not, But Still Shocked’

Big ElephantDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

Epsteins Leftist Survivors Whine About “Disappointing” DOJ File Dump – Still Not Enough to Satisfy Their Outrage Industry! In a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 11 12 13 … 31 Next

Latest posts

  • ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
  • SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to
  • Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of HumanityΒ 

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}