Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: crime

More Unnecessary Sequels Abound Resonance Plague Tale Is Back
Breaking, Games News

More Unnecessary Sequels Abound Resonance Plague Tale Is Back

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 23, 2026June 23, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, we’re getting a prequel to A Plague Tale, titled Resonance: A…

It should be an international crime to have rubbish pile up like this
Videos

It should be an international crime to have rubbish pile up like this

Chuck B. BallsyMay 16, 2026

Gretaaaaa! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed…

Billy Wilder’s Some Like it Hot Finally Gets the 4K Treatment Because Your Grandma’s DVD Player Wasn’t Doing it Justice
Breaking News: Some Like It Hot is Finally Getting the 4K Treatment and We're Totally Not Sick of It Yet 🙄
Breaking, Movie News

Billy Wilder’s Some Like it Hot Finally Gets the 4K Treatment Because Your Grandma’s DVD Player Wasn’t Doing it Justice

FinnMay 13, 2026May 13, 2026

Altitude and Capelight Pictures are bringing Billy Wilder’s classic crime comedy, Some Like it Hot, to the UK for the…

Xbox Just Announced the Most Overhyped Game Ever and It’s a Yakuza Prequel Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Those, Plus a Cast That’s More Star-Studded Than Your Grandma’s Quilt and a Release Window That’s Totally Not Getting Delayed
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Just Announced the Most Overhyped Game Ever and It’s a Yakuza Prequel Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Those, Plus a Cast That’s More Star-Studded Than Your Grandma’s Quilt and a Release Window That’s Totally Not Getting Delayed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Xbox’s long-awaited Stranger Than Heaven presentation finally dropped, and boy, was it a wild ride 🎢! The biggest question on…

Max Payne: Because Who Needs a Social Life When You Can Spend 100 Hours Replaying the Same Cutscene Over and Over Again in a Desperate Attempt to Recapture the Magic of a Game That Was Only Mildly Interesting in the First Place
Breaking, Games News

Max Payne: Because Who Needs a Social Life When You Can Spend 100 Hours Replaying the Same Cutscene Over and Over Again in a Desperate Attempt to Recapture the Magic of a Game That Was Only Mildly Interesting in the First Place

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 6, 2026May 6, 2026

Let’s talk about the super cool and totally not-at-all-depressing game, Max Payne 🎉😒. I mean, who doesn’t love a good…

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair
Breaking, Movie News

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking news: Django and Zorro are teaming up, because who doesn’t love a good buddy cop movie… set in the…

Another liberal celebrity gets away with heinous crime apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another liberal celebrity gets away with heinous crime apparently

Big ElephantApril 21, 2026April 21, 2026

It’s 2026 and our great nation is still reaping the benefits of Donald Trump’s magnificent leadership, and I’m thrilled to…

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Spider-Man Posters to Cover Your Entire Basement Walls and Ceiling
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Spider-Man Posters to Cover Your Entire Basement Walls and Ceiling

FinnApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Breaking news, folks: Spider-Man is back, and this time he’s got a brand new day to save the world 🌞🕸️!…

California Sheriff with Political Ambitions Confiscates Over Half a Million Ballots from 2025 Election — Because Democracy Needs a Timeout
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California Sheriff with Political Ambitions Confiscates Over Half a Million Ballots from 2025 Election — Because Democracy Needs a Timeout

Big ElephantMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

California Sheriff Chad Bianco Launches Investigation Into Ballot Count Discrepancy – Democrats Panic Riverside County Sheriff Chad Bianco, a Republican…

New Shows That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices and Cancel All Your Plans This Week
Breaking, Movie News

New Shows That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices and Cancel All Your Plans This Week

FinnMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Oh, look! Another week, another avalanche of TV shows flooding our lives like a dumpster fire we can’t look away…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 35 Next

Latest posts

  • Ado Makes Lollapalooza Debut After Remarkable Rise
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Tens of thousands of Illegal Immigrants invade Spain, a situation that also happened in the United States during the Sleepy Joe Biden Administration, and will happen again, only worse, if the Dumocrats ever again gain power.
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump warns of impending immigrant invasion disaster
  • Pastor Psyches Himself Up For Another Grueling One-Day Work Week
  • Silvertomb Unleashes New Single Ahead Of Forthcoming Album Release

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}