Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: crime

Knight Rider: Finally a Documentary About a Talking Car Because That’s What the World Was Missing
Breaking, Movie News

Knight Rider: Finally a Documentary About a Talking Car Because That’s What the World Was Missing

FinnJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some serious nostalgia? 🤩 Because we’re about to take a trip down memory lane,…

Flocking To The Competition Apparently Works
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Flocking To The Competition Apparently Works

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading about the backlash against Flock Safety cameras. It seems like people all over…

Fauci Takes Fifth Amendment Route To Senate Question Dodge
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fauci Takes Fifth Amendment Route To Senate Question Dodge

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the man who’s been the face of…

Feds Finally Found Someone They Could Investigate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Finally Found Someone They Could Investigate

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama involving former FBI Director James Comey, and I’ve got…

Citigroup Alumni Gets 30 Year Prison Membership Perk
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Citigroup Alumni Gets 30 Year Prison Membership Perk

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Harvard-educated former managing director at Citigroup Inc. was sentenced to…

More shows to distract us from the impending franchise reboot apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

More shows to distract us from the impending franchise reboot apocalypse

FinnJuly 28, 2026July 29, 2026

Looking for a new series to binge-watch, a new TV show to get hooked on with your partner or pals,…

Because We Needed Another Lanterns Reboot With a Cosmic Twist
Breaking, Movie News

Because We Needed Another Lanterns Reboot With a Cosmic Twist

FinnJuly 27, 2026July 27, 2026

There were some complaints about the early teasers for Lanterns. The show was too dark, too Earth-bound, too small. Where…

Kohberger Suddenly Remembers He Has Right To Trial
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kohberger Suddenly Remembers He Has Right To Trial

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Bryan Kohberger, the guy who was convicted of stabbing four University of…

Trump’s Park Police Bring Thrilling NASCAR Action to Law Enforcement
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Park Police Bring Thrilling NASCAR Action to Law Enforcement

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A police chase in Washington, DC, ended with a Venezuelan national,…

Florida to Break Record for Most Productive Killing Day Ever
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Florida to Break Record for Most Productive Killing Day Ever

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Two death row inmates in Florida are set to be…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 5 6 7 … 40 Next

Latest posts

  • Tinder tired of helping you avoid humans
  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.