Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: DHS

CNN Business Presents: Ribbiting Resistance or Right-Wing Reptiles? The Totally Real Info War Over, Like, ICE or Something
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business Presents: Ribbiting Resistance or Right-Wing Reptiles? The Totally Real Info War Over, Like, ICE or Something

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another leftist media outlet trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! CNN, still whining about “propaganda” videos from…

Rudy Giuliani survives another near-death experience in New Hampshire, proving once again that even car crashes can’t stop America’s mayor from seeking attention
Elephant Reads CNN

Rudy Giuliani survives another near-death experience in New Hampshire, proving once again that even car crashes can’t stop America’s mayor from seeking attention

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s at it again! Looks like they couldn’t get to Rudy the legal way, so they had…

Lawmakers Throw a Hissy Fit After Border Patrol Briefly Detains Do-Gooder Firefighter Helpers in Washington (OMG!) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers Throw a Hissy Fit After Border Patrol Briefly Detains Do-Gooder Firefighter Helpers in Washington (OMG!) | CNN

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Oh, the Deep State strikes again! Now they’re arresting HEROES fighting wildfires, all because they might not have the right…

IRS, Now an Extension of ICE, Helping Round Up Undocumented Taxpayers Because Apparently Balancing Budgets Wasn’t Enough Fun
Elephant Reads CNN

IRS, Now an Extension of ICE, Helping Round Up Undocumented Taxpayers Because Apparently Balancing Budgets Wasn’t Enough Fun

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2025August 9, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? The Deep State is at it again, trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! CNN…

DHS Drops Spicy New Border Patrol Agent Shootout Vid
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Drops Spicy New Border Patrol Agent Shootout Vid

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another crime in the once-great state of New York, now a festering sanctuary for illegals and home to…

ICE Gets a Truckload of Benjamins to Round Up More Undocumented Immigrants, Because Apparently, Walls Don’t Build Themselves
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Gets a Truckload of Benjamins to Round Up More Undocumented Immigrants, Because Apparently, Walls Don’t Build Themselves

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining about President Trump’s plan to actually enforce our immigration laws. Can you…

DHS Secretary Noem to Kickstart the “See Ya Later, Immigrator” Express, Courtesy of Trump’s Piggy Bank
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Secretary Noem to Kickstart the “See Ya Later, Immigrator” Express, Courtesy of Trump’s Piggy Bank

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Homeland Security is about to unleash hell on the illegal immigrant hordes, thanks to President Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”! Secretary…

DHS Cutting Intel Staff by 75% Because Apparently Threats Aren’t THAT Threatening
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Cutting Intel Staff by 75% Because Apparently Threats Aren’t THAT Threatening

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is hyperventilating because President Trump is streamlining the Department of Homeland Security. Apparently, getting rid of…

20 states throw hissy fit after Trump admin yeets Medicaid data to deportation squad
Elephant Reads CNN

20 states throw hissy fit after Trump admin yeets Medicaid data to deportation squad

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

The Socialist States of Kalifornia, Ill-Annoy, and Commie DC are at it again, whining about President Trump daring to enforce…

DHS and FBI Warn of Impending Doom (aka July 4th Fireworks) by Lone Wolves
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS and FBI Warn of Impending Doom (aka July 4th Fireworks) by Lone Wolves

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Looks like the Deep State is at it again, folks! The FBI and DHS are issuing warnings about July 4th…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 Next

Latest posts

  • NASCAR Celebrates Pride Month With First All-Subaru Race
  • Amazon Abruptly Cancels Movie About Sam Altman Because Let’s Be Real Who Cares About Some Guy and His AI Company Anyway
  • Gang of Dragon Still NOT Dead Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs Founders Anyway Nagoshi Studio Is Totally Fine Without Them
  • Breaking News: Fallout Season 3 Just Became 1000% More Interesting Because They Added Some Guy from That One Show Your Nephew Watches Manny Jacinto
  • BEARTOOTH Finally Decides to Release Actual Bulls*** From Their Super Original and Not at All Overhyped ‘Pure Ecstasy’ Album That Will Definitely Change the Face of Music Forever

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}